Brooklyn Nine-Nine Quote 11283

Quote from Captain Holt in the episode The Good Ones

Amy: Sir, do you have a minute? I wanted to apologize. Being back at work has been... weird. Rosa's gone, and the world has changed. And you were the one person I thought I could count on to be the same. Always Holt. I know I've been acting crazy, and I'm sorry.
Captain Holt: Do you know why I engaged in small talk with you earlier?
Amy: Because small talk is for strangers and con men, and that's what I am to you now, a stranger.
Captain Holt: No. I did it because... I am a con man. I was trying to con you into believing everything is normal with me when... it is not. Kevin and I have separated.
Amy: [gasps] Oh, my God. Why?
Captain Holt: It's been a tough year to be a Black man... and a police captain... and a human. I've been pushed to the brink emotionally and physically. I went into survival mode, and it seems I have... neglected my personal life.
Amy: [sighs] Does anyone else know?
Captain Holt: Not here. I have successfully hidden it for months... Not very well, I might add. I made small talk with Peralta on five separate occasions, and he never even batted an eye. He just blathered on about someone named... Wario.
Amy: Yeah, he does that.
Captain Holt: But you... [chuckles] You noticed that something was off with me the very first day you returned. That just shows how well you know me. And while I'm not yet ready to talk about it, it's nice... feeling like I'm not alone anymore. And that's thanks to you... Raymy.
Amy: Just so you know, I am not Raymy. We are Raymy.
Captain Holt: Just be glad I said it.
Amy: Totally. Yes, I am. Thank you, sir.

 Captain Holt Quotes

Quote from the episode Ding Dong

Rosa: All you have to do is say a few nice comments during the memorial.
Captain Holt: As God said when Wuntch tried to sneak past the gates into heaven, "It ain't happening, honey."
Rosa: [cackles]

Quote from the episode Payback

Amy: Maybe we should talk about deets for the case. Plan our next move. Grab some chow.
Captain Holt: No need. I brought these. Nutrition bricks. I have original no flavor, and whole wheat no flavor.

Quote from the episode The Box

Jake: We have a few more questions for you, doctor.
Captain Holt: Doctor. Huh. It's funny when people call dentists "doctor".
Philip Davidson: We are doctors. We do four years of medical school.
Captain Holt: Yeah, but it's called "dental school".
Philip Davidson: But we learn about the entire body.
Captain Holt: But if you had cancer, you wouldn't call a dentist.
Philip Davidson: You know it's actually harder to get into dental school than medical school.
Captain Holt: Well, because there are fewer dental schools. Because most people want to become actual doctors.
Philip Davidson: That's ridiculous. It's not like we're college professors calling ourselves "doctors".
Captain Holt: Not the same thing, my friend.
Philip Davidson: Well, sure it is. When someone has a heart attack on a plane, do they yell out, "Yo, does anybody here have an Art History PhD?"
Captain Holt: A PhD is a doctorate. It's literally describing a doctor.
Jake: Maybe let's refocus.
Captain Holt: No! The problem here is that medical practitioners have co-opted the word "doctor".
Jake: Okay, Captain-
Captain Holt: I know we live in a world where anything can mean anything, and nobody even cares about etymolo-
[cut to outside, Holt downing a glass of water]
Captain Holt: Apparently that's a trigger for me.
Jake: Yeah, apparently.

 ‘The Good Ones’ Quotes

Quote from Sergeant Jeffords

Sergeant Jeffords: Amy, he's your captain. You act like it's some romantic relationship.
Amy: You know what, Terry? You're right. It is like a romantic relationship.
Sergeant Jeffords: That's what you got from what I said?
Amy: Do you still have that relationship book from when you and Sharon were having issues?
Sergeant Jeffords: That book was about sex. And it's actually Scully's. But I bet Scully also ordered some relationship books when Scully got himself that sex book for Scully.
Amy: Just own the sex book thing.
Sergeant Jeffords: You want my help or not?
Amy: Fine. Can you please get Scully's relationship book that is obviously not yours?
Sergeant Jeffords: Weird that you're asking me to do it, but okay. I'll see what I can do.

Quote from Jake

Amy: So where's Rosa? Thought she'd be here by now.
Jake: I'm telling you, she's not coming. Ever since she quit the force, she thinks we're just part of the problem.
Captain Holt: Oh, she never said that. She quit after George Floyd was killed because she thought that she could do more good by becoming a PI that helps victims of police brutality. That has nothing to do with us.
Jake: Then how come we haven't hung out at all since she quit?
Sergeant Jeffords: Setting up a new business takes time. She's probably too busy to see friends.
Jake: And yet I have time to see my friends and be a father and do my job and straight-up crush it at "Goat Simulator" on my Switch.
Amy: That's not something to be proud of.
Jake: Being a father is not something to be proud of, Ames? Wow. You've changed, dude.
Jake: Look, all I'm saying is, I promise you she is not gonna show up tonight. And if she does, I'll give each of you $1,000, cash. That's a promise.
Rosa: Hey, everybody.
Jake: Jake's word is not legally binding. Any promise of cash reward is, of course, understood as hyperbole. Rosa! I knew you'd make it.

Quote from Charles

Charles: But you know what was rougher? The hundreds of years of oppression experienced by Black people in this country, oppression they still experience to this day.
Amy: Why does Charles sound like a podcast?
Charles: Oh, because I'm listening to one right now. It's called "Two Wrongs Makes a White: Lessons in Anti-Racism."
Sergeant Jeffords: Yeah, you're lucky you weren't here on Juneteenth.
[flashback: to Charles, wearing an African print face mask and scarf, raising his fist as he passes by Sergeant Jeffords:]
Sergeant Jeffords: What the hell?
[present:]
Sergeant Jeffords: He went full Schumer.
Charles: Cultural appropriation, Amy. She'll figure it out.
Sergeant Jeffords: You're the one who did it.
Charles: Mm-hmm.

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