Brooklyn Nine-Nine Quote 11325

Quote from Jake in the episode The Lake House

Jake: So we got off to a bad start there with the bees and Kevin rolling down the hill, and then, of course, the second swarm of bees, but we're good now, right? Can you guys hear me? You keep moving away from me for some reason.
Kevin: Ugh, I wish a bee would sting me in both ears right now so they'd seal shut as well.
Jake: What was that? I couldn't hear you! I'll just assume you said, "Keep going." Anyways, yeah, I just figured if I could get you guys together, I could create a magical moment. But of course, we now know that magic doesn't exist.

 Jake Quotes

Quote from the episode The Vulture

Rosa: Come on, Peralta! Holt said to use the whole team. We all want this solved.
Jake: I appreciate the offer, but I work best alone. Except when it comes to sex. Actually, sometimes including sex.

Quote from the episode AC/DC

Jake: I wasn't hurt that badly. The doctor said all my bleeding was internal. That's where the blood's supposed to be.

Quote from the episode Operation Broken Feather

Jake: I guess that's your new best friend now, Santiago. Emphasis on "Iago," backstabber.
Amy: I'm surprised you've read Othello.
Jake: What the hell's Othello? I'm calling you the parrot from Aladdin.

 ‘The Lake House’ Quotes

Quote from Sergeant Jeffords

Jake: Guys, come on, I've got a great plan here. No one wants in?
Sergeant Jeffords: Absolutely not!
[later:]
Sergeant Jeffords: Tell me the plan. I want in.
Jake: What? You do?
Sergeant Jeffords: Yeah. Terry loves love.
Jake: Then why didn't you back me up in there?
Sergeant Jeffords: Because Terry also loves hedging.
Jake: Terry loves hedging? That's new.
Sergeant Jeffords: No, it's classic Terry. Look, I always play both sides till the last possible minute, everyone knows that.
Jake: That's not fair. Everyone's so hard on me. I want a public show of support for my plan.
Sergeant Jeffords: Can't do it. Look, I don't know what's so tough for you to understand here. I love the scheme, I wanna be a part of it, but I think it's gonna fail, and I don't want people to think I was a part of it.
Jake: Fine, I'll take what I can get.
Sergeant Jeffords: Yes!

Quote from Captain Holt

Captain Holt: He's tired from driving, so he's staying the night and going back in the morning.
Jake: Well, that could be good. Maybe you guys can spend some time together.
Captain Holt: We've agreed to keep our distance and issue a verbal warning anytime one of us is about to enter the room. [shouts] Raymond Holt entering the kitchen! [exits]
Amy: Jake, this is bad.
Captain Holt: [o.s.] Raymond Holt entering the second sitting room.

Quote from Captain Holt

Jake: What did Kevin say? Is everything okay?
Captain Holt: No. We just had a knock-down, drag-out fight.
[flashback:]
Captain Holt: My calendar had the Lake House as free.
Kevin: Strange. Mine had it as unoccupied.
Captain Holt: Well, it seems we're at an impasse.
Kevin: I would call it more of a deadlock.
[present:]
Captain Holt: He gets in such good zingers.

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