Jake: Come on. Show me what you got.
Charles: Fred Astaire. Gene Kelly.
Jake: Liberace. Diane Keaton.

Rosa: Come on, Peralta! Holt said to use the whole team. We all want this solved.
Jake: I appreciate the offer, but I work best alone. Except when it comes to sex. Actually, sometimes including sex.

Jake: I wasn't hurt that badly. The doctor said all my bleeding was internal. That's where the blood's supposed to be.

Charles: Santiago, I know that you hate Halloween, but stick with me, and I promise you, you will love it.
Amy: Can you magically make everyone kind, sober, and fully dressed?
Jake: "Kind, sober and fully dressed." Good news, everyone. We found the name of Santiago's sex tape!

Gina: It's a sloppy Jessica. Mac n cheese, chili, pizza on a bun. Its everything I've wanted to eat for the last 48 hours.
Sergeant Jeffords: What happened? I thought you were gonna 'last forever bitches.'
Gina: Turns out I gave up easy. You hear that bitches? I gave up so easy.

Captain Holt: You're all in perfect shape.
Sergeant Jeffords: You can always be healthier, sir.
Amy: And I like the challenge.
Sergeant Jeffords: Plus it's good team building. We're gonna get through this together. Hey guys, pro tip. Lick the baggie. There's food molecules in there.

Sergeant Jeffords: All right, gang. Diet day 4. How's everyone holding up?
Gina: Honestly, I'm going to last forever. You hear that bitches? I'm gonna last forever.