Jake: Fine, here's my gun and badge.
Captain Holt: I don't need those. You're not suspended yet. You're on administrative leave.
Jake: You never let me do anything cool.

Rosa: Come on, Peralta! Holt said to use the whole team. We all want this solved.
Jake: I appreciate the offer, but I work best alone. Except when it comes to sex. Actually, sometimes including sex.

Jake: I wasn't hurt that badly. The doctor said all my bleeding was internal. That's where the blood's supposed to be.

Jake: I guess that's your new best friend now, Santiago. Emphasis on "Iago," backstabber.
Amy: I'm surprised you've read Othello.
Jake: What the hell's Othello? I'm calling you the parrot from Aladdin.

Gina: The English language can not fully capture the depth and complexity of my thoughts. So I'm incorporating Emoji into my speech to better express myself. Winky face.

Gina: Breakups are a cartoony thumbs down. They make people feel face-with-Xs-for-the-eyes.

Jake: Good point, Captain Holt. Or should I say Captain Raymond Sex-Vibes?