Jake: Every time I solve one, I go get a steak dinner. My cholesterol is -a- terrible.

Rosa: Come on, Peralta! Holt said to use the whole team. We all want this solved.
Jake: I appreciate the offer, but I work best alone. Except when it comes to sex. Actually, sometimes including sex.

Jake: I wasn't hurt that badly. The doctor said all my bleeding was internal. That's where the blood's supposed to be.

Charles: Santiago, I know that you hate Halloween, but stick with me, and I promise you, you will love it.
Amy: Can you magically make everyone kind, sober, and fully dressed?
Jake: "Kind, sober and fully dressed." Good news, everyone. We found the name of Santiago's sex tape!

Gina: If Rosa had a twin, she would have eaten her in the womb.

Charles: Are you leaving us for Copperhead?
Gina: Because I am prepared to light Charles on fire in protest.

Sergeant Jeffords: My own office. With walls!
Charles: Did you tell him Terry doesn't love walls?
Sergeant Jeffords: No, Terry loves walls.