Captain Holt: So I just received word from our friend at the Guffin Foundation. Apparently they loved our video submission. What did you send them?
Gina: A cinematic masterpiece is what I sent them.
Captain Holt: Did it feature pizzazz?
Gina: No, none at all, sir. First, I couldn't wrap my head around that concept, but then I realized: do you know which dogs get the most likes on the internet?
Captain Holt: Anatolian Shepherds.
Gina: No, ugly little runts with wonky eyes and tongues that won't stay in their mouths.
Captain Holt: But the Anatolian Shepherd is unrivaled for protecting livestock.

Rosa: All you have to do is say a few nice comments during the memorial.
Captain Holt: As God said when Wuntch tried to sneak past the gates into heaven, "It ain't happening, honey."
Rosa: [cackles]

Amy: Captain, how are you feeling?
Captain Holt: Better today. I even managed to eat some plain toast this morning.
Amy: Smart. Something bland.
Captain Holt: That's my favorite breakfast.

Amy: Maybe we should talk about deets for the case. Plan our next move. Grab some chow.
Captain Holt: No need. I brought these. Nutrition bricks. I have original no flavor, and whole wheat no flavor.

Charles: Now, this just needs to cook for another 11 hours, 32 minutes, and 6 [boom]
Sergeant Jeffords: What the hell, Boyle! You almost killed me! I'm not going out in a stew-making accident! Terry's gonna die saving the President, or Terry's never gonna die!

Marge: And you, Santiago, maybe the world would like to see that draft of a memo you wrote where you used T-H-E-I-R instead of T-H-E-R-E?
Amy: Oh, you sick son of a bitch.

Adrian Pimento: Oh, look at that. A bunch of old family photos and personal belongings.
Jake: Pimento's mementos. I know you have a gun on me. I just couldn't resist the rhyme, sorry.