Jake: Marry me. Marry. Oh, my God, look. The arsonist spelled MAR, but they were going to spell M-A-R-R-Y! Or-
Amy: Conjugate. Conjugate means marry!
Jake: Yes, and who wants to marry Vin?
Both: The lady from the bar!

Rosa: Come on, Peralta! Holt said to use the whole team. We all want this solved.
Jake: I appreciate the offer, but I work best alone. Except when it comes to sex. Actually, sometimes including sex.

Jake: I wasn't hurt that badly. The doctor said all my bleeding was internal. That's where the blood's supposed to be.

Jake: I guess that's your new best friend now, Santiago. Emphasis on "Iago," backstabber.
Amy: I'm surprised you've read Othello.
Jake: What the hell's Othello? I'm calling you the parrot from Aladdin.

Gina: I did a little sleuthing on your rivals. You want me to spill the beans?
Captain Holt: Why would you ever intentionally spill beans? They're one of nature's most densely packed protein sources, and they remain unsullied by flavor.

Amy: Oh, maybe we should look at anagrams of the answers.
Vin Stermley: That's really good, "o nasty amiga!"
Jake: Oh, what?
Amy: He re-arranged the letters of "Amy Santiago". He anagrammed me! Vin, do Jake Peralta.
Jake: I doubt that's even possible.
Vin Stermley: Eat a jerk, pal.
Jake: What, no one's ever said that phrase.

Captain Holt: Let me begin with a hilarious joke. I'm surprised I was on the short list for commissioner. After all, I am six feet tall.