Jake: All right, look. I didn't wanna have to do this, but we're in the NYPD. And if you don't cooperate, we'll have no choice but to file a report against the company.
Angela: You signed a contract, and that is binding. No one gets special treatment, Officer. Not even Jay.
Jake: Who?
Charles: Jay Chandrasekhar, their celebrity spokesman.
Jake: Oh, no way. The guy from "Super Troopers"?
Angela: Yep. He was also in "Beerfest". Now I have to get back to work, but allow me to introduce you to our complaint specialist. This is Phil. He's been assigned to intimidate you. Congratulations.
Charles: Thank you!
Jake: Charles, stop thanking her.

Sergeant Jeffords: So we have good news, and we have bad news.
Charles: My Nana always said, "Bad news first because the good news is probably a lie." Fun fact: she made me cry a lot.

Sergeant Jeffords: Boyle! Were you dreaming about Jake again?
Charles: Why did you wake me up?! I told you never to wake me up!

Charles: Is the equipment secure?
Jake: Check.
Charles: Weapon loaded?
Jake: Check.
Charles: Did you have breakfast?
Jake: What? That's not on the checklist.
Charles: I added it because I care about you.
Jake: No, I did not have breakfast.
Charles: Unacceptable. Look in your pocket.
Jake: Hey, there's little chocolate chips in this.
Charles: Yeah, I'm not an idiot. I know how to trick my best friend into eating his fiber.

Jake: Pigeon's still here?
Scully: Yeah. No matter what we do, he just won't leave.
Jake: The problem is you're thinking like detectives.
Scully: No, I'm definitely not.

Charles: Jake, piece of advice: just give up. It's the Boyle way. It's why our family crest is a white flag.

Captain Holt: Are you ready for your first briefing?
Amy: Yes, I am fully prepared. I just wanna establish myself as a leader right away.
Sergeant Jeffords: Just be confident, deliberate and firm. You'll know you have their respect when you can take a moment [pours a cup of coffee] and still keep their attention.
Amy: Amazing.
Rosa: That was captivating as hell.