Quote from Sergeant Jeffords in the episode Coral Palms Pt. 2
Amy: I think we all agree that C.J. is, to put it mildly, not very impressive.
Sergeant Jeffords: I watched him try to close the blinds in his office for 40 minutes. He finally just gave up and changed his pants with the windows wide open.
Quote from the episode The Tagger
Sergeant Jeffords: You should take my minivan.
Rosa: A minivan? Ha ha.
Sergeant Jeffords: You all got a problem with my minivan? Because my wife doesn't like it either. She wanted an SUV, but those things roll, man. They roll!
Quote from the episode Beach House
Sergeant Jeffords: I'm playing Kwazy Cupcakes, I'm hydrated as hell, and I'm listening to Sheryl Crow. I've got my own party going on.
Quote from the episode The Slump
Charles: Hey, Sarge. I need someone to fill out a line up. Will you be scary Terry?
Sergeant Jeffords: Oh, I love being Scary Terry. He says what regular Terry's thinking.
[cut to:
Sergeant Jeffords: This is taking too long! I'm gonna miss the farmer's market!
Quote from Captain Holt
Captain Holt: Actually I borrowed $3,000 from my walking group friend Ruth.
[cut to Holt and Ruth power walking]
Captain Holt: Ruth, I'm going to be straight with you. I accidentally knocked up a woman.
Ruth: Greg!
Captain Holt: You know me. I see a pair of thick weighty breasts and all logic flies out the window.
[later]
Jake: Heterosexual you is such a dog.
Quote from Charles
Amy: Guys, guys, the marshal gave me good news about Jake.
Charles: Jake's back. Jake's back! Oh, we're not ready. We need gummy worms. We need them now!
Quote from Jake
Jake: Also it probably goes without saying, but it's chill to whiz in this thing. I mean, I have been. You can if you want. I haven't been if you haven't. Have you? I haven't. Have you?