Rosa: Hey, Figgis. My fiance, Adrian Pimento, said when I caught you, I should read you this letter. "I want to lick the skin off your body, baby." Oh, that side's for me. "I want to rip the skin off your body, Jimmy."

Rosa: I want to say a few words. When Jason died seven days ago, I didn't give a rat's ass.
Charles: This is your speech?
Rosa: 'Cause I didn't understand why people care so much about their dumb dogs till I got a dumb dog myself. I've only had Arlo for a day and a half, but if anything happened to him, I would kill everyone in this room and then myself.
Gina: Very violent eulogy, I like it.

Rosa: Hey, you should run. Going to meetings, writing stuff down. You love that nerd stuff.
Amy: Writing stuff down is nerdy? What do you do?
Rosa: I just forget stuff like a cool person.

Sergeant Jeffords: Wait, is that a smile I see?
Rosa: Possibly. My immune system is too weak to fight off my smile muscles.

Captain Holt: The cops are looking for us, and a madman wants us dead.
We should be laying low until the Nine-Nine gets here.
Jake: Yeah, but we don't know when that's gonna be, and we need food and supplies.
Captain Holt: Okay, I'll get some water.
Jake: Holt, are you trying to draw attention to us? Nobody drinks water here.
Choose something blue or green.

Amy: Ooh, we're crossing into Virginia. Virginia is not technically a state, but a commonwealth.
Rosa: Oof, poor Jake.

Captain Holt: Are you hurt?
Jake: Yeah. I got caught on top of the fence. Check out my calf it's like Scratch City. How about you?
Captain Holt: I'm fine, except I was impaled on a metal pipe.
Jake: Oh, my God! [looking away and back again] Oh, my God! It's going to be fine. [looking away and back again] Oh, my God!