Quote from Rosa in the episode Serve & Protect
Rosa: Why won't you print? Ah, screw this.
Jake: No, no, no, no! Not again! What is going on here?
Rosa: Stupid printer won't print out my stupid resume which means I can't send it to any decent stupid precincts when this stupid place shuts down.
Jake: That's not gonna happen. Why are you being such a Gloomy Gus?
Rosa: I'm a Realistic Randy.
Jake: Didn't go with Rosa, huh?
Quote from the episode 9 Days
Rosa: I want to say a few words. When Jason died seven days ago, I didn't give a rat's ass.
Charles: This is your speech?
Rosa: 'Cause I didn't understand why people care so much about their dumb dogs till I got a dumb dog myself. I've only had Arlo for a day and a half, but if anything happened to him, I would kill everyone in this room and then myself.
Gina: Very violent eulogy, I like it.
Quote from the episode Jake and Sophia
Rosa: Hey, you should run. Going to meetings, writing stuff down. You love that nerd stuff.
Amy: Writing stuff down is nerdy? What do you do?
Rosa: I just forget stuff like a cool person.
Quote from the episode The Road Trip
Sergeant Jeffords: Wait, is that a smile I see?
Rosa: Possibly. My immune system is too weak to fight off my smile muscles.
Quote from Gina
Gina: We've been going for a while you feeling hungry?
Sergeant Jeffords: Starving, thanks. [Gina throws the yogurt against the wall] Oh, come on!
Gina: You get a yogurt when I get the truth.
Amy: Oh God, it's in the grout. It's gonna smell in here forever.
Quote from Charles
Charles: My point is, I'm worried that Veronica will never forgive Terry. Is there anyone above her that you can appeal to?
Captain Holt: She reports to Deputy Commissioner Grayson. I've already tried to set up a meeting with him. He's on vacation with his family in the Poconos.
Charles: Okay, so maybe we find out where he's staying and just happen to run into him and accidentally strike up a little convo about the Nine-Nine.
Captain Holt: That seems rather underhanded.
Charles: Desperate times call for Desperate Housewives.
Captain Holt: What?
Charles: Measures. I said measures.
Quote from Jake
Rosa: Hey, man. We gotta be cool, all right? I know you have some fantasy about being a movie star.
Jake: I don't fantasize about being a movie star. I fantasize about meeting one. And being invited to a party at George Clooney's villa, where he pranks me and then we prank Matt Damon together and then Damon's like "Peralta, you got the goods. You're gonna be the star of my next movie." Wait, maybe I do want to be a movie star.