Quote from Jake in the episode The Crime Scene
Jake: But you know what's not cool? Our Vic ordered his dinner from House of Lettuce. There's no way this guy knew he was gonna die. No one would want lettuce as their last meal. For example, my last meal is gon'st to be Sour Straws.
Rosa: You just keep those in your pocket?
Jake: We face death every day. I gotta be prepared to go out on my own terms.
Quote from the episode The Vulture
Rosa: Come on, Peralta! Holt said to use the whole team. We all want this solved.
Jake: I appreciate the offer, but I work best alone. Except when it comes to sex. Actually, sometimes including sex.
Quote from the episode The Party
Amy: I can't wait to see the inside of Raymond's house. I'm gonna learn everything there is to know about him.
Charles: I bet it's really fancy. Like Beauty and the Beast fancy.
Jake: No, it's probably just an empty, white cube with a USB port in it for him to plug his finger in when he's on sleep mode.
Quote from the episode AC/DC
Jake: I wasn't hurt that badly. The doctor said all my bleeding was internal. That's where the blood's supposed to be.
Quote from Jake
Jake: So, we gonna talk about what happened back there? I haven't seen someone cry that much since Charles heard they were remaking "First Wives Club."
Quote from Jake
Jake: Whoo! I love the first walkthrough of a crime scene. It's kind of like arriving at summer camp, except the lake is full of blood and your bunk mate is dead. I think I might be bad at metaphors.
Quote from Captain Holt
Captain Holt: I'm here because Major Crimes wants this case. I was hoping to tell them you have some leads. I overheard you mention a Bill Bo-Baggins. Should we bring him in?
Jake: Well, as much as I would love to meet him, he is not a suspect.