Quote from Jake in the episode The Crime Scene
Franco McCoy: Just do me a favor. Don't turn into a star humper around me or my squad, because they make TV shows about us sometimes.
Jake: What? They make shows about us all the time.
Franco McCoy: Name one.
Jake: "Law and Order".
Franco McCoy: Never heard of it.
Jake: "NYPD Blue".
Franco McCoy: Nope.
Jake: "Miami Vice".
Franco McCoy: Nah.
Jake: "Hill Street Blues".
Franco McCoy: Pass.
Jake: "The Wire".
Franco McCoy: Sounds dumb.
Jake: "Rizzoli & Isles".
Franco McCoy: Okay. That's a good one.
Quote from the episode The Vulture
Rosa: Come on, Peralta! Holt said to use the whole team. We all want this solved.
Jake: I appreciate the offer, but I work best alone. Except when it comes to sex. Actually, sometimes including sex.
Quote from the episode The Party
Amy: I can't wait to see the inside of Raymond's house. I'm gonna learn everything there is to know about him.
Charles: I bet it's really fancy. Like Beauty and the Beast fancy.
Jake: No, it's probably just an empty, white cube with a USB port in it for him to plug his finger in when he's on sleep mode.
Quote from the episode AC/DC
Jake: I wasn't hurt that badly. The doctor said all my bleeding was internal. That's where the blood's supposed to be.
Quote from Jake
Jake: So, we gonna talk about what happened back there? I haven't seen someone cry that much since Charles heard they were remaking "First Wives Club."
Quote from Jake
Jake: Whoo! I love the first walkthrough of a crime scene. It's kind of like arriving at summer camp, except the lake is full of blood and your bunk mate is dead. I think I might be bad at metaphors.
Quote from Captain Holt
Captain Holt: I'm here because Major Crimes wants this case. I was hoping to tell them you have some leads. I overheard you mention a Bill Bo-Baggins. Should we bring him in?
Jake: Well, as much as I would love to meet him, he is not a suspect.