Rosa: Hey, Jake. You know what it's time for?
Jake: I sure do.
Both: Jake and Rosa's first impressions.
Rosa: Cast-off pattern on the far wall suggests upward knife slices. Jake?
Jake: Wounds on the vic's back means he didn't see the killer coming. Rosa?
Rosa: Laptop, wallet, keys all in plain sight. No sign of forced entry. Doesn't connote a robbery. Jake?
Jake: But it does connote that our killer was waiting for Adams in the apartment. Did I just use the word "connote" correctly?
Rosa: You did.
Jake: Great. Will you text that to Amy? I don't want to say what using good vocabulary gets me.
Rosa: Okay.
Jake: Sexual intercourse.
Rosa: Gross.
Jake: What? We're adults.

Rosa: Come on, Peralta! Holt said to use the whole team. We all want this solved.
Jake: I appreciate the offer, but I work best alone. Except when it comes to sex. Actually, sometimes including sex.

Jake: I wasn't hurt that badly. The doctor said all my bleeding was internal. That's where the blood's supposed to be.

Charles: Santiago, I know that you hate Halloween, but stick with me, and I promise you, you will love it.
Amy: Can you magically make everyone kind, sober, and fully dressed?
Jake: "Kind, sober and fully dressed." Good news, everyone. We found the name of Santiago's sex tape!

Jake: So, we gonna talk about what happened back there? I haven't seen someone cry that much since Charles heard they were remaking "First Wives Club."

Jake: Whoo! I love the first walkthrough of a crime scene. It's kind of like arriving at summer camp, except the lake is full of blood and your bunk mate is dead. I think I might be bad at metaphors.

Captain Holt: I'm here because Major Crimes wants this case. I was hoping to tell them you have some leads. I overheard you mention a Bill Bo-Baggins. Should we bring him in?
Jake: Well, as much as I would love to meet him, he is not a suspect.