Brooklyn Nine-Nine Quote 9482

Quote from Jake in the episode The Crime Scene

Jake: Okay, Rosa. You know what it's time for.
Rosa: I do.
Both: Jake and Rosa's final impressions.
Rosa: Your client's a hit man. He snuck into the apartment during a party several nights earlier, hid in the vent for three days, then emerged and murdered Adams. Jake?
Jake: He then spilled bags of blood that he stole from a blood bank all over the floor and turned on the victim's vacuum cleaner to make the crime scene as messy as possible. Rosa?
Rosa: The messy scene meant there'd be extra crime techs, allowing your client to sneak out in a Hazmat suit, which records show he bought online.
Jake: Two weeks before the crime was committed. My only question is, who was behind all this?
Perp: I was hired by a chicken farmer.
Jake: Okay. Dopeness taking a late hit here, but we still got you. See you at the sentencing, peace, and we're out.

 Jake Quotes

Quote from the episode The Vulture

Rosa: Come on, Peralta! Holt said to use the whole team. We all want this solved.
Jake: I appreciate the offer, but I work best alone. Except when it comes to sex. Actually, sometimes including sex.

Quote from the episode The Party

Amy: I can't wait to see the inside of Raymond's house. I'm gonna learn everything there is to know about him.
Charles: I bet it's really fancy. Like Beauty and the Beast fancy.
Jake: No, it's probably just an empty, white cube with a USB port in it for him to plug his finger in when he's on sleep mode.

Quote from the episode AC/DC

Jake: I wasn't hurt that badly. The doctor said all my bleeding was internal. That's where the blood's supposed to be.

 ‘The Crime Scene’ Quotes

Quote from Jake

Jake: So, we gonna talk about what happened back there? I haven't seen someone cry that much since Charles heard they were remaking "First Wives Club."

Quote from Jake

Jake: Whoo! I love the first walkthrough of a crime scene. It's kind of like arriving at summer camp, except the lake is full of blood and your bunk mate is dead. I think I might be bad at metaphors.

Quote from Captain Holt

Captain Holt: I'm here because Major Crimes wants this case. I was hoping to tell them you have some leads. I overheard you mention a Bill Bo-Baggins. Should we bring him in?
Jake: Well, as much as I would love to meet him, he is not a suspect.

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