Quote from Jake in the episode The Golden Child
David Santiago: Anyway, I think I got too close. Those dirty cops must have planted the drugs in my desk.
Amy: So what you're saying is, you're not addicted to cocaine?
David Santiago: Amy, it's me. I don't even drink coffee. I have too much respect for my body.
Jake: This is water.
Quote from the episode The Vulture
Rosa: Come on, Peralta! Holt said to use the whole team. We all want this solved.
Jake: I appreciate the offer, but I work best alone. Except when it comes to sex. Actually, sometimes including sex.
Quote from the episode AC/DC
Jake: I wasn't hurt that badly. The doctor said all my bleeding was internal. That's where the blood's supposed to be.
Quote from the episode Operation Broken Feather
Jake: I guess that's your new best friend now, Santiago. Emphasis on "Iago," backstabber.
Amy: I'm surprised you've read Othello.
Jake: What the hell's Othello? I'm calling you the parrot from Aladdin.
Quote from Charles
Charles: I want to send someone into holding, undercover as a perp, to see if they can get him to open up.
Sergeant Jeffords: Why don't you do it? You're always going on about your acting abilities and that time you played Annie.
Charles: I'm an adult man, Sarge. I didn't play Annie. I was in "Annie." I played Miss Hannigan.
Quote from Captain Holt
Charles: Hey, Captain, Sarge, I have a case I want to discuss with you.
Captain Holt: You want to talk about work in the break room? That's highly unorthodox, but I suppose we can give it a try.
Charles: Okay, so I have a perp-
Captain Holt: I'm sorry, this is insane. Let's talk in my office.
Quote from Jake
Jake: Ames, super important question. Which one of these shirts should I wear to dinner with your mom tonight?
Rosa: Those are exactly the same.
Jake: I have a signature look, Rosa.