Captain Holt: Hello, gentlemen. How is your day going?
Scully: Great. I just woke up from my morning nap. [stammers] I mean, my morning nap.
Captain Holt: It's fine. It's good to be rested at work.
Sergeant Jeffords: Okay. Are you trying to prove that you can be nonjudgmental?
Captain Holt: Rosa, I didn't see you there. I was just having a friendly chat with my employees. So, uh, boys, tell me, what are you doing this weekend?
Hitchcock: Well, we're going to a sauce launch party at Wing Slutz.
Captain Holt: Sounds like a neat cultural event.
Hitchcock: They're introducing a new dairy-based sauce called Cream Dream.
Captain Holt: Mmm.
Scully: And everyone who comes gets a free bucket. You want to know what that's called?
Captain Holt: Of course I do.
Rosa: No, you don't. None of us do. You proved your point. If you want to meet Jocelyn so bad, you can. You win. [exits]
Hitchcock: Okay, well, that's Friday night. Now, every Saturday morning, we go to the public baths.
Captain Holt: I get it. You lead colorful lives. Let's end this, shall we?

Rosa: All you have to do is say a few nice comments during the memorial.
Captain Holt: As God said when Wuntch tried to sneak past the gates into heaven, "It ain't happening, honey." [Rosa cackles]

Amy: Captain, how are you feeling?
Captain Holt: Better today. I even managed to eat some plain toast this morning.
Amy: Smart. Something bland.
Captain Holt: That's my favorite breakfast.

Amy: Maybe we should talk about deets for the case. Plan our next move. Grab some chow.
Captain Holt: No need. I brought these. Nutrition bricks. I have original no flavor, and whole wheat no flavor.

Captain Holt: [on the phone] Kevin, they're not coming. Yes, I know you've already started soaking the rice. Couldn't we just eat it ourselves? I understand you purchased four portions of rice. Yes, that's a great idea. We'll eat the extra rice for breakfast. I love you, as well.

Jake: Okay, unlike Kooky Charles and Tearful Terry, I am healthy and don't need therapy.
Hitchcock: I hear that. I don't go to therapy either. Jake and I are like two penises in a pod.
Jake: Damn it, Hitchcock, we talked about this. It never helps when you back me up.

Jake: Behold, Brooklyn buddies, Boyle bullpen bottle bowling.
Charles: Beautiful.
Jake: Be brave, bro. Be brave. Bowl!
Rosa: Bam!
Charles: Bull's-eye!
Jake: Booyah!
Elderly Eastern European Woman: Babushka!
All: Babushka!