Jake: No, I was actually talking to none other than Gina Linetti.
Sergeant Jeffords: Really? No one's heard from her in months.
Jake: Well, she just invited us to go check out her new place.
Sergeant Jeffords: I'm surprised you're so excited to see her. I mean, she's been blowing you off ever since she left.
Jake: What? In what way?
Sergeant Jeffords: She bailed on your birthday drinks.
Jake: It wasn't that fun.
Sergeant Jeffords: She was a no-show at your Secret Santa party!
Jake: Christmas is overrated.
Sergeant Jeffords: She hasn't called you in months!
Jake: I'm not that interesting. Look, what is going on with you? Are you hangry?
Sergeant Jeffords: No. I just ate six hardboiled eggs.
Jake: Well, maybe you should've made it a cool "doz."

Rosa: Come on, Peralta! Holt said to use the whole team. We all want this solved.
Jake: I appreciate the offer, but I work best alone. Except when it comes to sex. Actually, sometimes including sex.

Jake: I wasn't hurt that badly. The doctor said all my bleeding was internal. That's where the blood's supposed to be.

Jake: I guess that's your new best friend now, Santiago. Emphasis on "Iago," backstabber.
Amy: I'm surprised you've read Othello.
Jake: What the hell's Othello? I'm calling you the parrot from Aladdin.

Amy: Rosa? Are you stuck in there?
Rosa: No, I'm in here by choice.
Amy: Oh, 'cause I hear some banging noises as if someone was struggling to open the door.
Rosa: No. That was the pipes.
Amy: Or, is it the sound of you learning how to ask for help? You know, you can't spell "independent" without "dependent."
Rosa: And you can't spell "Go [bleep] yourself" without "[bleep] you."

Gina: Timothée Chalamet, shimmy-yah, shimmy-yay. Timothée Chalamet, shimmy-yah, shimmy-yay.
Jake: Gina?
Gina: Sorry, I'm doing my vocal warm-up.

Charles: Nikolaj had a half-day at school for Mariano Rivera's birthday. I'm watching him on my lunch break. Nikolaj, say "hi" to Captain Holt.
Nikolaj: Hi, Captain Holt! How's Mr. Kevin?
Captain Holt: Stressed. His annual budget review is today, and a recent change in federal policy means his grant situation is tenuous. At best.
Nikolaj: Okay.