Quote from Jake in the episode The Jimmy Jab Games
Jake: Hey, Rosa, just who I was looking for. Quick question, can I have your friend Katie's phone number? I want to ask her out.
Rosa: No, I don't mix personal and professional. You're never getting her number.
Jake: Never like, "we're never gonna have a black President" never? 'Cause that happened.
Rosa: A real never. Like if you ever ask me about this again, you're never gonna be able to eat without a straw.
Jake: Yeah, okay, well you are on the wrong side of history, my friend.
Quote from the episode The Vulture
Rosa: Come on, Peralta! Holt said to use the whole team. We all want this solved.
Jake: I appreciate the offer, but I work best alone. Except when it comes to sex. Actually, sometimes including sex.
Quote from the episode AC/DC
Jake: I wasn't hurt that badly. The doctor said all my bleeding was internal. That's where the blood's supposed to be.
Quote from the episode Halloween
Charles: Santiago, I know that you hate Halloween, but stick with me, and I promise you, you will love it.
Amy: Can you magically make everyone kind, sober, and fully dressed?
Jake: "Kind, sober and fully dressed." Good news, everyone. We found the name of Santiago's sex tape!
Quote from Charles
Jake: I don't have feelings for Amy any more. So, time for me to get out there and spread my -
Charles: legs.
Jake: - wings. Get out there and spread my legs?!
Charles: Well, either way...
Jake: No, not either way. Only wings.
Quote from Gina
Sergeant Jeffords: Apparently he's on an important call with the Albanian president.
Amy: Is that Bujar Nishani or is it still Bamir Topi?
Gina: Oh, Ames, let me check. Mmm, it just says no one likes you.
Quote from Charles
Charles: Are you blackmailing me? I don't have any money, Hitchcock. I'm still paying my uncle's funeral bills. I rear-ended the hearse. It was a mess.