Quote from Hitchcock in the episode The Jimmy Jab Games
Charles: Please let me have the tape.
Hitchcock: No dice.
Charles: I don't know how to make you cool. I'm not even that cool myself. I mean, sure, I have a pizza stone.
Hitchcock: You have cool friends. Like Jake. I just wanna be part of a conversation where Jake uses my name and nobody insults me.
Charles: Damn it! You ask too much.
Quote from the episode The Big House Pt. 2
Amy: Hey, I think I found something interesting. I was double-checking last month's surveillance photos, and I noticed this. Hawkins has two different phones: her normal cell, and then this one that only has one app on the home screen Snapchat.
Hitchcock: Oh, she's up to something. Snapchat messages disappear. You can send anything to anybody, and after they see it, it's like I never sent it.
Captain Holt: Nobody ask Hitchcock why he knows that.
Quote from the episode Pontiac Bandit
Sergeant Jeffords: Hitchcock called himself Scully by accident.
Hitchcock: I did, but it brought me and Scully closer together.
Quote from the episode Thanksgiving
Amy: Hitchcock, why do you have your shirt off?
Hitchcock: Can't spill food on your shirt if you're not wearing one.
Quote from Charles
Jake: I don't have feelings for Amy any more. So, time for me to get out there and spread my -
Charles: legs.
Jake: - wings. Get out there and spread my legs?!
Charles: Well, either way...
Jake: No, not either way. Only wings.
Quote from Gina
Sergeant Jeffords: Apparently he's on an important call with the Albanian president.
Amy: Is that Bujar Nishani or is it still Bamir Topi?
Gina: Oh, Ames, let me check. Mmm, it just says no one likes you.
Quote from Charles
Charles: Are you blackmailing me? I don't have any money, Hitchcock. I'm still paying my uncle's funeral bills. I rear-ended the hearse. It was a mess.