Officer Debbie Fogle: What about you guys? How did he turn you?
Jake: Well, I've been dirty long before Nucci came onto the scene. I do a ton of coke. They call me Mr. Springtime because of how fast I make the snow disappear.

Rosa: Come on, Peralta! Holt said to use the whole team. We all want this solved.
Jake: I appreciate the offer, but I work best alone. Except when it comes to sex. Actually, sometimes including sex.

Jake: I wasn't hurt that badly. The doctor said all my bleeding was internal. That's where the blood's supposed to be.

Jake: I guess that's your new best friend now, Santiago. Emphasis on "Iago," backstabber.
Amy: I'm surprised you've read Othello.
Jake: What the hell's Othello? I'm calling you the parrot from Aladdin.

Sergeant Jeffords: This is gonna take forever.
Captain Holt: I actually took a speed reading course. I tested at 800 WPM.
Amy: That's pathetic. I tested at 802.
Sergeant Jeffords: That's pretty close to Holt's score.
Captain Holt: No, no, 802's incredible. She pwned me. I read the entire Urban Dictionary So I could converse with the other uniformed officers. Finished it in 47 minutes.

Captain Holt: But we have to let the investigation run its course. Right now, everyone's a suspect.
Rosa: Except for Hitchcock and Scully. Whoever did it took the stairs.

Sergeant Jeffords: So we don't know where Debbie has hidden the drugs. We searched her car, her apartment we even tried the location data on her phone, but she was smart, she had it turned off.
Amy: Or her battery died. According to her Screen Time app, she plays five hours a day of a game called "Cool Girl in School."
Charles: I love "CGIS." I just made captain of the color guard. Junior year's looking up.