Sergeant Jeffords: Twain? Terry doesn't want a twained ticket to "Kwazy Kupcakes."
Charles: That's not how tickets work.
Sergeant Jeffords: You'd just be ruining them.
Charles: None of us would get in.
Sergeant Jeffords: Are you dumb?
Jake: No! All right, full disclosure. I was trying to do that Bible thing and then one of you was gonna take the high road and say that rather than see the tickets destroyed, you would just bow out, and then that person was gonna get the tickets.
Sergeant Jeffords: Nope. If I don't get them, no one does.
Charles: Agreed. Boyles or bust. Cut them up.
Jake: [sighs] I'm not gonna do that. I'm just gonna have to think of another way to figure this out. Stupid Bible with stupid lessons never solved crap!

Rosa: Come on, Peralta! Holt said to use the whole team. We all want this solved.
Jake: I appreciate the offer, but I work best alone. Except when it comes to sex. Actually, sometimes including sex.

Amy: I can't wait to see the inside of Raymond's house. I'm gonna learn everything there is to know about him.
Charles: I bet it's really fancy. Like Beauty and the Beast fancy.
Jake: No, it's probably just an empty, white cube with a USB port in it for him to plug his finger in when he's on sleep mode.

Jake: I wasn't hurt that badly. The doctor said all my bleeding was internal. That's where the blood's supposed to be.

Rosa: All you have to do is say a few nice comments during the memorial.
Captain Holt: As God said when Wuntch tried to sneak past the gates into heaven, "It ain't happening, honey."
Rosa: [cackles]

Jake: Wait, Wuntch is dead?
Sergeant Jeffords: Yeah. The Commissioner's office just notified us.
Captain Holt: No way that's true. As Wuntch says when she sees deodorant, "I'm not buying it."
Rosa: [laughs]

Sergeant Jeffords: Terry said he had some news from the office of Commissioner Wuntch.
Captain Holt: [groans] What does that human blister want now? Does she intend to demote me even further? Or perhaps she'll transfer me to the swamps of New Jersey so I can patrol the sinkhole where she was spawned.