Dillman: If you were in the break room, why was the IP address of your laptop logged into the Wi-Fi on the fifth floor?
Rosa: Fine. There's an empty office there where I go to be alone.
Dillman: Seems innocent enough. Why would you lie about that? Maybe because you were up there assembling a glitter bomb.
Rosa: [mumbles]
Dillman: I'm sorry, I didn't...
Rosa: I was watching a soap opera. It's called "Drake's Hollow." I never miss an episode. It's my mother's favorite show, and when things were bad between us, it was the one thing that we could still talk about.
Dillman: Oh, that's sweet.
Jake: It is kind of sweet.
Dillman: Sweet enough to fool a lesser detective.
Jake: What... I wasn't fooled. Take her away.

Rosa: Come on, Peralta! Holt said to use the whole team. We all want this solved.
Jake: I appreciate the offer, but I work best alone. Except when it comes to sex. Actually, sometimes including sex.

Amy: I can't wait to see the inside of Raymond's house. I'm gonna learn everything there is to know about him.
Charles: I bet it's really fancy. Like Beauty and the Beast fancy.
Jake: No, it's probably just an empty, white cube with a USB port in it for him to plug his finger in when he's on sleep mode.

Jake: I wasn't hurt that badly. The doctor said all my bleeding was internal. That's where the blood's supposed to be.

Jake: The point is a crime has been committed, and someone in this room did it. There are seven suspects all with means and motive. It appears what we have is a classic whodunnit.
Captain Holt: The phrase "whodunnit" is a grammatical abomination. Please use the proper term, a "who has done this."
Jake: I will not.

Dillman: So now I'd like to move on to a real suspect. I wanna see detective Diaz in the box.
Charles: [gasps]
Jake: What... don't gasp for him. What are you doing?
Charles: I'm sorry. It just slipped out.
Rosa: Title of your sex tape.
Jake: Yeah, it's... obviously it's the title of his sex tape. Everyone's taking my stuff.

Jake: Fair point, but we do shatter a lot of glass around here. Either it's Rosa who's disappointed in her Buzzfeed results...
[flashback to Rosa on a computer:]
Rosa: I am not a Blanche! [throws the mouse through a window]