Quote from Jake in the episode Admiral Peralta
Amy: Jake?
Jake: Okay, fine. Yes, we baked it. I'm so sorry. I'll explain everything later. Dad, please stop cutting the cake.
Roger Peralta: I'm trying to find a good slice.
Walter Peralta: There is no good slice! You screwed it up! You're a screw-up!
Roger Peralta: Yeah? Well, if I'm a screw up, it's 'cause you screwed me up. You screw-up.
Walter Peralta: Screw you. I'm leaving.
Jake: Wait, wait, no, don't go! We reversed the curse! Don't reverse the curse reverse!
Quote from the episode The Vulture
Rosa: Come on, Peralta! Holt said to use the whole team. We all want this solved.
Jake: I appreciate the offer, but I work best alone. Except when it comes to sex. Actually, sometimes including sex.
Quote from the episode AC/DC
Jake: I wasn't hurt that badly. The doctor said all my bleeding was internal. That's where the blood's supposed to be.
Quote from the episode Operation Broken Feather
Jake: I guess that's your new best friend now, Santiago. Emphasis on "Iago," backstabber.
Amy: I'm surprised you've read Othello.
Jake: What the hell's Othello? I'm calling you the parrot from Aladdin.
Quote from Hitchcock
Hitchcock: Please, don't go looking for that witness.
Amy: We're just trying to fix your screw-up.
Scully: We didn't screw up. The witness gave us his name, but he asked us not to write it down because he's undocumented.
Rosa: So he's scared to show up to testify at the courthouse because he didn't want to be detained by ICE.
Amy: Damn it.
Hitchcock: You know, that keeps lots of immigrants from helping cops.
Rosa: Yeah, we know that. We're just surprised that you know that.
Scully: That's insulting. I'm very concerned with immigration issues.
Hitchcock: And I've dated my fair share of spicy...
Rosa: No!
Amy: Scully said the nice thing. You don't need to go past it, Hitchcock.
Quote from Captain Holt
Captain Holt: Okay. Give me your flute. Wrong! First rule: never give anyone your flute.
Quote from Amy
Sergeant Jeffords: Sorry, we're so happy for you, but we also maybe, kind of already knew. I mean, you didn't do the best job of hiding it.
[flashback:]
Sergeant Jeffords: Why have you been carrying that box around so much?
Amy: I just love this box.
[flashback:]
Captain Holt: Why are you reading that newspaper? It's two days old.
Amy: I just love this issue.
[flashback:]
Rosa: Hey, why are you wearing that Hazmat suit?
Amy: I just love this look.