Captain Holt: Oh, someone's making a move.
Jake: That's right. And that someone is us.
Captain Holt: Seems like a pretty sloppy plan.
Jake: You're just saying it's sloppy because you're jealous you didn't think of it. You don't even know what we're doing yet.
Captain Holt: Fog up the room until no one can see and then steal the gems.
Jake: Yeah, but I also got us little booties, so we can move through the room quietly. And I memorized the exact layout of the entire bullpen using a blindfold so follow me.

Rosa: Come on, Peralta! Holt said to use the whole team. We all want this solved.
Jake: I appreciate the offer, but I work best alone. Except when it comes to sex. Actually, sometimes including sex.

Jake: I wasn't hurt that badly. The doctor said all my bleeding was internal. That's where the blood's supposed to be.

Jake: I guess that's your new best friend now, Santiago. Emphasis on "Iago," backstabber.
Amy: I'm surprised you've read Othello.
Jake: What the hell's Othello? I'm calling you the parrot from Aladdin.

Charles: How do you know this is their plan?
Amy: 'Cause Jake frickin' told me.
Charles: He did?
Amy: Yeah. He's so frustrated with Holt... like I knew he would be... that it's all he talks about... [quietly] in therapy.
Charles: What?
[flashback to Jake laying on the couch in a therapist's office as Amy hides in the vent:]
Jake: The thing is, the bunny vests do add gravitas, but I can't tell him that 'cause then he wins. Oh, hey, is it weird that Jane Jetson gives me a bo...
[back:]
Charles: You found a therapist that let you do that?
Amy: No, I've been paying an actress to pretend to treat him for months. She's actually helped him a lot.
Charles: Oh, did Jake ever say anything about me while you were listening?
Amy: ... Where are those bunnies?

Charles: Why did you want Cheddar to swallow the gems?
Rosa: Because I needed to delay things. The second part of my plan took place on Valentine's Day, which went perfectly.
Jake: Ah, I wouldn't say perfectly. Scully swallowed the gems.
Rosa: 'Cause I tricked him into it. Wasn't hard. Pretty much used the same Cheddar ham playbook.
[flashback:]
Scully: Table ham. Seven days in a row.
[present:]
Scully: So now I have to think twice before I eat food I find lying around. Thanks a lot.

Jake: Anyhow, will there be a new champion crowned this year, or will I become the first ever three-time winner, building on my glorious victories in heists one and five?
Amy: You didn't win the fifth heist. I did when you proposed to me.
Captain Holt: I won that year. You ended up with a modified version of the cummerbund, and you only got that because you slept your way into it.
Amy: Sorry, sir, that no one here wants to bone you, you dusty, old skeleton.
Captain Holt: Whoa!