Brooklyn Nine-Nine Quote 11282

Quote from Jake in the episode The Good Ones

Jake: Why'd you delete it? You said you'd help us if we got proof.
Captain Lamazar: Yeah, but I didn't think you'd get proof, get proof. I thought you just, you know, get proof. There's proof and there's proof. You got the wrong kind of proof. I don't know how much clearer I can be.
Rosa: So you were never gonna help us?
Captain Lamazar: I am helping you. I can still get the charges against your client dropped. Now that I saw that footage, I'll get my officers to revise their statements.
Jake: And they'll be punished?
Captain Lamazar: No, there's no way I can suspend them.
Jake: Suspend? I thought you would fire them.
Captain Lamazar: [snorts] Oh, you're being serious now. Huh, I guess jokes aren't our thing. Well, if I fired them, it would trigger the union's appeal process. PBA's grievance proceedings allow for both unions and individual officers to challenge personnel actions by superiors. [time lapse] The complaint gets sent up the chain of command till they get someone who sides with the officers. [time lapse] And the courts are a nightmare. Prosecutors work closely with cops. They're not gonna jeopardize their relationship by pursuing cases against them. [time lapse] All the officer has to say is he feared for his life, and it gets thrown out.
Jake: Look, we know all of this, but that doesn't mean you just give up.
Captain Lamazar: Okay, so say I don't give up and I get the commissioner to agree to fire the officers. Do you know what happens next?
Jake: They'd file a countersuit.
Captain Lamazar: Yes. And the officers get paid to stay at home. [time lapse] Not to mention qualified immunity. [time lapse] And now the officers are back on the street and I am blackballed. [time lapse] And then one of the only female captains in the NYPD is forced to quit. And you don't want me gone. I'm one of the good ones. And I know how that sounds, but I'm not one of the bad ones who say they're one of the good ones. I'm one of the good ones who say they're one of the good ones.
Jake: Yeah, I hear it, Rosa. You can stop staring daggers at me. Let's just go.

 Jake Quotes

Quote from the episode The Vulture

Rosa: Come on, Peralta! Holt said to use the whole team. We all want this solved.
Jake: I appreciate the offer, but I work best alone. Except when it comes to sex. Actually, sometimes including sex.

Quote from the episode AC/DC

Jake: I wasn't hurt that badly. The doctor said all my bleeding was internal. That's where the blood's supposed to be.

Quote from the episode Operation Broken Feather

Jake: I guess that's your new best friend now, Santiago. Emphasis on "Iago," backstabber.
Amy: I'm surprised you've read Othello.
Jake: What the hell's Othello? I'm calling you the parrot from Aladdin.

 ‘The Good Ones’ Quotes

Quote from Sergeant Jeffords

Sergeant Jeffords: Amy, he's your captain. You act like it's some romantic relationship.
Amy: You know what, Terry? You're right. It is like a romantic relationship.
Sergeant Jeffords: That's what you got from what I said?
Amy: Do you still have that relationship book from when you and Sharon were having issues?
Sergeant Jeffords: That book was about sex. And it's actually Scully's. But I bet Scully also ordered some relationship books when Scully got himself that sex book for Scully.
Amy: Just own the sex book thing.
Sergeant Jeffords: You want my help or not?
Amy: Fine. Can you please get Scully's relationship book that is obviously not yours?
Sergeant Jeffords: Weird that you're asking me to do it, but okay. I'll see what I can do.

Quote from Jake

Amy: So where's Rosa? Thought she'd be here by now.
Jake: I'm telling you, she's not coming. Ever since she quit the force, she thinks we're just part of the problem.
Captain Holt: Oh, she never said that. She quit after George Floyd was killed because she thought that she could do more good by becoming a PI that helps victims of police brutality. That has nothing to do with us.
Jake: Then how come we haven't hung out at all since she quit?
Sergeant Jeffords: Setting up a new business takes time. She's probably too busy to see friends.
Jake: And yet I have time to see my friends and be a father and do my job and straight-up crush it at "Goat Simulator" on my Switch.
Amy: That's not something to be proud of.
Jake: Being a father is not something to be proud of, Ames? Wow. You've changed, dude.
Jake: Look, all I'm saying is, I promise you she is not gonna show up tonight. And if she does, I'll give each of you $1,000, cash. That's a promise.
Rosa: Hey, everybody.
Jake: Jake's word is not legally binding. Any promise of cash reward is, of course, understood as hyperbole. Rosa! I knew you'd make it.

Quote from Charles

Charles: But you know what was rougher? The hundreds of years of oppression experienced by Black people in this country, oppression they still experience to this day.
Amy: Why does Charles sound like a podcast?
Charles: Oh, because I'm listening to one right now. It's called "Two Wrongs Makes a White: Lessons in Anti-Racism."
Sergeant Jeffords: Yeah, you're lucky you weren't here on Juneteenth.
[flashback: to Charles, wearing an African print face mask and scarf, raising his fist as he passes by Sergeant Jeffords:]
Sergeant Jeffords: What the hell?
[present:]
Sergeant Jeffords: He went full Schumer.
Charles: Cultural appropriation, Amy. She'll figure it out.
Sergeant Jeffords: You're the one who did it.
Charles: Mm-hmm.

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