Brooklyn Nine-Nine Quote 11428

Quote from Jake in the episode PB & J

Trudy Judy: What's up, Peralta?
Jake: Hey, Trudy Judy and dog Judy. What's going on? Are you puppy sitting for Doug?
Trudy Judy: Well, I was, but I need you to take him for me, because I'm going on a little vacay, and let's just say there's going to be some activities that aren't suitable for a little dog. Mm! Like parasailing.
Amy: Oh. Thought you were building to something much more sexual.
Trudy Judy: Nope, just really pumped for parasailing. Also, there's gonna be a lot of [bleep], but the dog's okay with that. Here.
Amy: Ugh. As much as we would love to take care of this extremely unneutered animal, we can't, because I'm too allergic.
Jake: Wait, why isn't Doug Judy taking care of dog Judy? Is he out of town or something?
Trudy Judy: Oh, no, you didn't hear? Doug got arrested. He's going to prison.
Jake: Wait, what?
Trudy Judy: Doug got arrested. He's going to prison.
Jake: Yeah, no, I heard you. I was just processing.
Trudy Judy: Aw. You want to hug a dog?
Jake: Oh, my God. It's, like, a third of him.

 Jake Quotes

Quote from the episode The Vulture

Rosa: Come on, Peralta! Holt said to use the whole team. We all want this solved.
Jake: I appreciate the offer, but I work best alone. Except when it comes to sex. Actually, sometimes including sex.

Quote from the episode The Party

Amy: I can't wait to see the inside of Raymond's house. I'm gonna learn everything there is to know about him.
Charles: I bet it's really fancy. Like Beauty and the Beast fancy.
Jake: No, it's probably just an empty, white cube with a USB port in it for him to plug his finger in when he's on sleep mode.

Quote from the episode AC/DC

Jake: I wasn't hurt that badly. The doctor said all my bleeding was internal. That's where the blood's supposed to be.

 ‘PB & J’ Quotes

Quote from Jake

Doug Judy: [hip-hop beat] ♪ Uh ♪
Jake: ♪ Uh ♪
Doug Judy: ♪ Uh ♪
Jake: ♪ Uh ♪
Doug Judy: ♪ Uh ♪ A lot of room for uh's. I like that.
Jake: I thought you would.
Doug Judy: ♪ Doug and Jake rolling down the street ♪
Jake: ♪ PB and J, a tasty little treat ♪
Doug Judy: ♪ Two cool dudes making sandals for your feet ♪
Jake: What?
Doug Judy: I was going for the rhyme, but now I kind of feel like it's a good idea.
Jake: Love it. ♪ Making sandals that last is our ideology ♪ ♪ Made real by our patented, strapless technology ♪ It's magnets.
Doug Judy: [laughing] Okay! ♪ Yo, you can wear 'em on the beach ♪
Jake: ♪ Wear 'em on a hike ♪
Doug Judy: ♪ Wear 'em on a Peloton exercise bike ♪
Both: ♪ Doug and Jake, two best friends ♪ ♪ With the premium, open-toed shoes for men! ♪
Doug Judy: ♪ Rah! ♪
Jake: [laughs] That was crazy. We never even rehearsed and just did it perfectly. It was like Jackson Maine and Ally.
Doug Judy: I call Ally.
Jake: Aw, I wanted Ally.

Quote from Jake

Jake: [groans] Parenting is exhausting.
Amy: You're tired because you were up until 5:00 in the morning playing a game on your phone.
Jake: It's not a game. It's a realistic pizza parlor simulator. [chuckling] It's very different. There's no winning.
Amy: Then why do you play?
Jake: To earn pizza points to get better toppings.

Quote from Charles

Jake: What are you doing?
Charles: What are you doing? Why are you alone with a criminal who's escaped you multiple times?
Jake: Seems like a loaded question.
Charles: Oh, that's not even half my load.

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