Captain Holt: Peralta, you made an arrest in the bus bombing?
Jake: Yes, look, I know that I was told to back off, but something just didn't sit right, so I went back up there, and I caught the guy. He was snooping around. Now, he's not talking yet...
Captain Holt: Because he didn't do it.
Jake: What?
Captain Holt: The feds already solved the case. There were prints on the bomb, which led to a suspect who confessed immediately.
Jake: Well, why didn't anyone tell me that?
Captain Holt: 'Cause they didn't have to because it's not your case.
Jake: So I arrested an innocent person?
Captain Holt: Yes.
Jake: Oh... that's not okay. Uncool, uncool, uncool, uncool, uncool, uncool, uncool, uncool, uncool.
Captain Holt: Are you saying cool or uncool?
Jake: Uncool. It's just hard to say it fast, but this is bad!

Rosa: Come on, Peralta! Holt said to use the whole team. We all want this solved.
Jake: I appreciate the offer, but I work best alone. Except when it comes to sex. Actually, sometimes including sex.

Amy: I can't wait to see the inside of Raymond's house. I'm gonna learn everything there is to know about him.
Charles: I bet it's really fancy. Like Beauty and the Beast fancy.
Jake: No, it's probably just an empty, white cube with a USB port in it for him to plug his finger in when he's on sleep mode.

Jake: I wasn't hurt that badly. The doctor said all my bleeding was internal. That's where the blood's supposed to be.

Charles: Really never seen Speed, sir? Keanu Reeves, Sandy Bullock, Jeff Daniels at the height of his sexual powers?

Charles: Uh-oh, I know that strut. Little hip swing, playful butt bounce... Somebody made a collar!
Jake: Not loving you talking about my butt bounce, but, also, hell, yeah, someone collared a big dog!
Charles: Woof, woof!

Rosa: So you lost a Speed That sucks. At least you didn't have a Sister Act taken from you.
[flashback:]
Captain Holt: Bracco confessed. The undercover operation is over.
Rosa: But I just got a spot in the choir.
[present:]
Jake: Wait, is that the real reason you left the force?
Rosa: It didn't help.