Jake: Well, you have every right to be. I know I messed up. I just never imagined myself as someone who would make a mistake like that, and then I just made it worse, you know?
Frank O'Sullivan: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, what are you doing? Learning a lesson? You don't have any lessons to learn. You didn't do anything wrong.
Captain Holt: What do you want, O'Sullivan?
Frank O'Sullivan: This is Mel Jenkins... City attorney in charge of payoffs and bribes.
Mel Jenkins: Uh, not my title. I handle tort claims.
Frank O'Sullivan: Whatever. Mel and I just had ourselves a little chat over morning drinks.
Jake: More drinks?
Frank O'Sullivan: Relax, it was just a couple of breakfast beers. So the department is going to settle without mitting any wrongdoing, and because the facts of the case will remain unresolved, there will be no suspension for Marzipan or Peralta.
Captain Holt: How's that possible? Peralta arrested and harassed an innocent man.
Frank O'Sullivan: Come on, now, these are cops. They got to make split-second decisions in life-or-death situations, and they can't be expected to get that 100% correct every single time.
Captain Holt: This was not a life-or-death situation.
Frank O'Sullivan: Sure, but next time it might be. And how can this one be expected to do his job when he knows that any teeny-tiny lapse in judgment could end with you branding him a dirty cop and ruining his life?

Rosa: Come on, Peralta! Holt said to use the whole team. We all want this solved.
Jake: I appreciate the offer, but I work best alone. Except when it comes to sex. Actually, sometimes including sex.

Amy: I can't wait to see the inside of Raymond's house. I'm gonna learn everything there is to know about him.
Charles: I bet it's really fancy. Like Beauty and the Beast fancy.
Jake: No, it's probably just an empty, white cube with a USB port in it for him to plug his finger in when he's on sleep mode.

Jake: I wasn't hurt that badly. The doctor said all my bleeding was internal. That's where the blood's supposed to be.

Charles: Really never seen Speed, sir? Keanu Reeves, Sandy Bullock, Jeff Daniels at the height of his sexual powers?

Charles: Uh-oh, I know that strut. Little hip swing, playful butt bounce... Somebody made a collar!
Jake: Not loving you talking about my butt bounce, but, also, hell, yeah, someone collared a big dog!
Charles: Woof, woof!

Rosa: So you lost a Speed That sucks. At least you didn't have a Sister Act taken from you.
[flashback:]
Captain Holt: Bracco confessed. The undercover operation is over.
Rosa: But I just got a spot in the choir.
[present:]
Jake: Wait, is that the real reason you left the force?
Rosa: It didn't help.