Sergeant Jeffords: We've got to make this place kid-friendly. No crime scene photos lying about.
Hitchcock: That's not a crime scene. That's a boudouir photo I'm having framed for my wife. That's me underneath the mask.

Amy: Hey, I think I found something interesting. I was double-checking last month's surveillance photos, and I noticed this. Hawkins has two different phones: her normal cell, and then this one that only has one app on the home screen Snapchat.
Hitchcock: Oh, she's up to something. Snapchat messages disappear. You can send anything to anybody, and after they see it, it's like I never sent it.
Captain Holt: Nobody ask Hitchcock why he knows that.

Sergeant Jeffords: Hitchcock called himself Scully by accident.
Hitchcock: I did, but it brought me and Scully closer together.

Amy: Hitchcock, why do you have your shirt off?
Hitchcock: Can't spill food on your shirt if you're not wearing one.

Madeline Wuntch: Hello, Raymond. How do you like my new office? Twentieth floor.
Captain Holt: Yes, I never thought I'd see you this high without a broom under you.

Jake: Captain, quick update. Another one of the Fulton Street Four was murdered here this morning.
Captain Holt: Huh. I'm surprised you're not celebrating inappropriately.
Jake: This is a crime scene and I'm a professional.
Captain Holt: You did it before I showed up?
Jake: Yep, that is exactly correct.

Jake: That's not what I meant. No, we have to fight her.
Captain Holt: We're not going to fight her. She's the devil. And you don't dance with the devil because you get burned. Also, because in Madeline's case she has no rhythm, and her hands are like little rat claws.