Quote from Jake in the episode The Road Trip
Captain Holt: Did you just spit in my trash can?
Jake: No, Vaughn did. There's some tobacco in there too. Vaughn chews it, but it makes Jake super dizzy.
Quote from the episode The Vulture
Rosa: Come on, Peralta! Holt said to use the whole team. We all want this solved.
Jake: I appreciate the offer, but I work best alone. Except when it comes to sex. Actually, sometimes including sex.
Quote from the episode AC/DC
Jake: I wasn't hurt that badly. The doctor said all my bleeding was internal. That's where the blood's supposed to be.
Quote from the episode Operation Broken Feather
Jake: I guess that's your new best friend now, Santiago. Emphasis on "Iago," backstabber.
Amy: I'm surprised you've read Othello.
Jake: What the hell's Othello? I'm calling you the parrot from Aladdin.
Quote from Rosa
Sergeant Jeffords: Wait, is that a smile I see?
Rosa: Possibly. My immune system is too weak to fight off my smile muscles.
Quote from Captain Holt
Captain Holt: I have zero interest in food. If it were feasible, my diet would consist entirely of flavorless beige smoothies containing all the nutrients required by the human animal.
Quote from Charles
Captain Holt: Anyway, tomorrow's my anniversary with Kevin. I'd like to cook him an impressive breakfast. Could you help orient me with that process?
Charles: I'd be honored. Preparing food for one's lover is the most intimate gift of all. Aside from washing their hair.