Amy: Oh, Captain Holt is here today!
Jake: Yes! Genius! He loves us and he's got tons of sway in the department.
Amy: He'll tell the Vulture to back down.
Jake: He'll be all "Vulture, I must INSIST that you DESIST."
Amy: I really think this is going to work. Also, if you ever want to bust out that Holt impression at home, I'd be okay with that.
Jake: Oh, okay. Duly noted. Super disturbing, but I'm definitely going to do it.

Rosa: Come on, Peralta! Holt said to use the whole team. We all want this solved.
Jake: I appreciate the offer, but I work best alone. Except when it comes to sex. Actually, sometimes including sex.

Amy: I can't wait to see the inside of Raymond's house. I'm gonna learn everything there is to know about him.
Charles: I bet it's really fancy. Like Beauty and the Beast fancy.
Jake: No, it's probably just an empty, white cube with a USB port in it for him to plug his finger in when he's on sleep mode.

Jake: I wasn't hurt that badly. The doctor said all my bleeding was internal. That's where the blood's supposed to be.

Charles: Hey, G-Spot!
Gina: Rosa, Charles. Ugh, I missed you guys so much.
Rosa: Really? Because when you left, you made a pretty big deal about deleting us from your phone.
Gina: Girl, that was just the showman in me.
PR is so boring. I need some Nine-Nine drama, stat.
Rosa: I don't think we're that dramatic.
Gina: I've been gone one week. Jake and Amy are dating and they've killed a person.

Amy: Listen, guys. Jake and I were talking last night-
Charles: Pillow talk alert. Set the scene, spooning or face to face?
Jake: Charles.
Charles: Spooning.

Sergeant Jeffords: Move over, Peralta! Move over! Okay. And if I may do a third toast, it'll be focused primarily on the mango yogurt.
*Audience groans*
Don't boo me! I lost something important too, shoot!