Sergeant Jeffords: What do you want, Santiago?
Amy: I was just wondering if you finished writing that recommendation letter. It's due pretty soon.
Sergeant Jeffords: I'm working on it. It's taking a little while because it's hard to concentrate, what with all the agony.
Amy: Okay, well, thank you for still doing it. If it helps, I brought you some soothing ginger tea.
Sergeant Jeffords: Will it repair the place where my nose came off my skull?
Amy: I don't know, but it's supposed to have healing vapors.
So try inhaling it?
Sergeant Jeffords: Oh, thank you.
Ow! It burns! - Oh! - The vapors burn!
Amy: I'm sorry! I'll take it back! (knocks the drink over into Sergeant Jefford's lap)
Sergeant Jeffords: Oh, God.
Amy: I'm sorry! I'll get some cold water!
Sergeant Jeffords: No, no, don't.
I am petrified of you!

Sergeant Jeffords: You should take my minivan.
Rosa: A minivan? Ha ha.
Sergeant Jeffords: You all got a problem with my minivan? Because my wife doesn't like it either. She wanted an SUV, but those things roll, man. They roll!

Sergeant Jeffords: I'm playing Kwazy Cupcakes, I'm hydrated as hell, and I'm listening to Sheryl Crow. I've got my own party going on.

Charles: Hey, Sarge. I need someone to fill out a line up. Will you be scary Terry?
Sergeant Jeffords: Oh, I love being Scary Terry. He says what regular Terry's thinking.
[cut to:
Sergeant Jeffords: This is taking too long! I'm gonna miss the farmer's market!

Captain Holt: Dancing over. Situation defused.
Jake: No!

Jake: Are you guys wearing one scarf?
Genevieve: Yep, Charles forgot his this morning. It's actually quite romantic. I think he did it on purpose.
Charles: Uh, let's just say, I definitely did it on purpose. Now, twirl me, darling!

Jake: Oh, I should've known.
You're a hugger, not a shaker.
Charles: It was the most painful thing I've ever done, and I've taken three of my grandparents off life support.
Jake: How are you always in charge of that?