Charles: Ugh, these shoes are so uncomfortable!
Jake: They're dress sneakers, you're not supposed to run in them.

Rosa: Come on, Peralta! Holt said to use the whole team. We all want this solved.
Jake: I appreciate the offer, but I work best alone. Except when it comes to sex. Actually, sometimes including sex.

Jake: I wasn't hurt that badly. The doctor said all my bleeding was internal. That's where the blood's supposed to be.

Jake: I guess that's your new best friend now, Santiago. Emphasis on "Iago," backstabber.
Amy: I'm surprised you've read Othello.
Jake: What the hell's Othello? I'm calling you the parrot from Aladdin.

Adrian Pimento: Hang on. Were you creeps watching that the whole time?
Sergeant Jeffords: Well-
Amy: Uh-
Adrian Pimento: I'm just kidding. I know you were. It's like an eclipse. You should always look at it with both eyes wide open. Full on.

Charles: It looks like the perp knew what he was after. All he took was a shipment of thousand-dollar limited edition Weezies designed by Little Wayne.
Jake: Oh, it's Lil.
Charles: Oh, like Lillian.
Jake: No.
Charles: Lillian Wayne.

Jake: We gotta solve this on our own. And I think I know how. I found a lead on the dark web.
Charles: Nice. The dark web. It's the only place you can buy quality bat meat.