Jake: Come on, Terry. Let's just see what the plan is. Charles, what are we doing?
Charles: I don't know anything about it. But why don't we take this map and this sextant and chart a course to the restaurant?
Captain Holt: Title of your sex-tant tape.
Jake: Ah, did not work at all, but I love that you attempted it. Title of your sex-tant tape.

Rosa: Come on, Peralta! Holt said to use the whole team. We all want this solved.
Jake: I appreciate the offer, but I work best alone. Except when it comes to sex. Actually, sometimes including sex.

Jake: I wasn't hurt that badly. The doctor said all my bleeding was internal. That's where the blood's supposed to be.

Jake: I guess that's your new best friend now, Santiago. Emphasis on "Iago," backstabber.
Amy: I'm surprised you've read Othello.
Jake: What the hell's Othello? I'm calling you the parrot from Aladdin.

Amy: I'm so excited for tonight. Thank you to my best friend, Kylie, for organizing this. And thank you for coming, ladies and gentlemen.
Rosa: I still don't get why you guys are here.
Hitchcock: Well, as I understand it, Amy lost some sort of bet with Jake.
Amy: It's true. In hindsight, we should probably stop making major decisions through bets and competitions.

Sergeant Jeffords: We've been at this bachelor party for over an hour, wandering around aimlessly and we haven't done one bachelor party thing!
Captain Holt: Well, Terry, if you'd like, I could share a lewd story. Kevin got me quite horny this morning.
Jake: Oh, see?

Jake: And gentlemen, welcome to my bachelor party. This is the elite party squad. That is, assuming the captain is ready to let loose?
Captain Holt: Captain? I don't think so. I want you guys to think of me as one of the boys. So tonight I'll be swapping out my captain's hat for my Kangol hat. Call me Raymond.