Quote from Hitchcock in the episode The Golden Child
Jake: So you want me to keep Hitchcock from spilling on himself for the rest of the day? We both know that's impossible.
Captain Holt: I'm counting on you.
Jake: I won't do it.
Captain Holt: There's nobody else I trust.
Jake: What you're asking is insane.
Captain Holt: I'm not asking.
Jake: It's a suicide mission!
Captain Holt: Then prepare for death.
Jake: You've lost your mind!
Captain Holt: This is a direct order, Detective! Get in line!
Rosa: Hey. You guys startled Hitchcock. He spilled two full jars of spaghetti sauce on himself.
Hitchcock: Thanks a lot, fellas.
Quote from the episode The Big House Pt. 2
Amy: Hey, I think I found something interesting. I was double-checking last month's surveillance photos, and I noticed this. Hawkins has two different phones: her normal cell, and then this one that only has one app on the home screen Snapchat.
Hitchcock: Oh, she's up to something. Snapchat messages disappear. You can send anything to anybody, and after they see it, it's like I never sent it.
Captain Holt: Nobody ask Hitchcock why he knows that.
Quote from the episode Pontiac Bandit
Sergeant Jeffords: Hitchcock called himself Scully by accident.
Hitchcock: I did, but it brought me and Scully closer together.
Quote from the episode Thanksgiving
Amy: Hitchcock, why do you have your shirt off?
Hitchcock: Can't spill food on your shirt if you're not wearing one.
Quote from Charles
Charles: I want to send someone into holding, undercover as a perp, to see if they can get him to open up.
Sergeant Jeffords: Why don't you do it? You're always going on about your acting abilities and that time you played Annie.
Charles: I'm an adult man, Sarge. I didn't play Annie. I was in "Annie." I played Miss Hannigan.
Quote from Captain Holt
Charles: Hey, Captain, Sarge, I have a case I want to discuss with you.
Captain Holt: You want to talk about work in the break room? That's highly unorthodox, but I suppose we can give it a try.
Charles: Okay, so I have a perp-
Captain Holt: I'm sorry, this is insane. Let's talk in my office.
Quote from Jake
Jake: Ames, super important question. Which one of these shirts should I wear to dinner with your mom tonight?
Rosa: Those are exactly the same.
Jake: I have a signature look, Rosa.