Jake: This is bad.
Sergeant Jeffords: I know. He's been like that all day.
Jake: No, I was talking about your eyebrows. Whatever's going on up there is real, real bad.
Sergeant Jeffords: Well, it's better than having two bug hotels above your eyes.
Jake: But wouldn't they also be in your goatee?
Sergeant Jeffords: Don't do this to me, Jake.

Sergeant Jeffords: You should take my minivan.
Rosa: A minivan? Ha ha.
Sergeant Jeffords: You all got a problem with my minivan? Because my wife doesn't like it either. She wanted an SUV, but those things roll, man. They roll!

Sergeant Jeffords: I'm playing Kwazy Cupcakes, I'm hydrated as hell, and I'm listening to Sheryl Crow. I've got my own party going on.

Charles: Hey, Sarge. I need someone to fill out a line up. Will you be scary Terry?
Sergeant Jeffords: Oh, I love being Scary Terry. He says what regular Terry's thinking.
[cut to:
Sergeant Jeffords: This is taking too long! I'm gonna miss the farmer's market!

Gintars: It's gift for Nikolaj.
Charles: Nikolaj?
Jake: How do you know Charles's son?
Gintars: My name is Gintars. From Latvia. I am Nikolaj birth father.
Charles: Ohh! Nikolaj's birth father who I'd never hope to meet. Very cool. Cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, c-c-c-c-c [passes out]

Dr. Ronald Yee: The flies don't sense blood. They're just regular flies.
Amy: But, Dr. Yee, you can't be a fraud. You gave a TED Talk.

Amy: What are you saying out of your weird face?
Rosa: We put the flies near fresh blood, and nothing happened. They didn't react at all.
Captain Holt: Do you know how stupid these accusations sound? Diaz, you're fired.
Rosa: What?
Amy: Dr. Yee is one of the most respected forensic experts in the country.
Captain Holt: For you two - let's not mince words - common fools to suggest that you found the flaw in this brilliant man's-
Dr. Ronald Yee: They're right.