Quote from Jake in the episode The Therapist
Jake: You're right. I'm sorry. I was being unfair. It's your case. You call in an APB, and I will meet you back at the precinct. I'm just gonna swing by the bank.
Charles: You're not gonna go to Dr. Tate's office and search it behind my back, are you?
Jake: What? Charles, no. I wouldn't do that. You can trust me.
Charles: Okay, I trust you.
Jake: Good. You should.
Charles: Well, I do.
Jake: Great, because you can.
Charles: I feel good about it.
Jake: Good, you should.
Charles: I think it's the right choice.
Jake: You're making the right call by trusting me.
[later:]
Jake: Not. "Wayne's World". Sweet.
Quote from the episode The Vulture
Rosa: Come on, Peralta! Holt said to use the whole team. We all want this solved.
Jake: I appreciate the offer, but I work best alone. Except when it comes to sex. Actually, sometimes including sex.
Quote from the episode AC/DC
Jake: I wasn't hurt that badly. The doctor said all my bleeding was internal. That's where the blood's supposed to be.
Quote from the episode Operation Broken Feather
Jake: I guess that's your new best friend now, Santiago. Emphasis on "Iago," backstabber.
Amy: I'm surprised you've read Othello.
Jake: What the hell's Othello? I'm calling you the parrot from Aladdin.
Quote from Captain Holt
Captain Holt: [on the phone] Kevin, they're not coming. Yes, I know you've already started soaking the rice. Couldn't we just eat it ourselves? I understand you purchased four portions of rice. Yes, that's a great idea. We'll eat the extra rice for breakfast. I love you, as well.
Quote from Hitchcock
Jake: Okay, unlike Kooky Charles and Tearful Terry, I am healthy and don't need therapy.
Hitchcock: I hear that. I don't go to therapy either. Jake and I are like two penises in a pod.
Jake: Damn it, Hitchcock, we talked about this. It never helps when you back me up.
Quote from Jake
Jake: Behold, Brooklyn buddies, Boyle bullpen bottle bowling.
Charles: Beautiful.
Jake: Be brave, bro. Be brave. Bowl!
Rosa: Bam!
Charles: Bull's-eye!
Jake: Booyah!
Elderly Eastern European Woman: Babushka!
All: Babushka!