Amy: I can't believe they all let C.J. and Gina just buy them off. But we don't need them, 'cause we've got you, and you're a sergeant. Did you sign the letter yet?
Sergeant Jeffords: Um ... I-
Amy: What did he give you?
Sergeant Jeffords: He gave me the ability to continue to serve this community unencumbered by unnecessary oversight. Now, I really have to-
Amy: What did he give you?
Sergeant Jeffords: He gave me a yogurt fridge, all right? I asked for a yogurt fridge, and I got one, right next to my desk! I'm only a man.

Sergeant Jeffords: You know why I became a cop?
Captain Holt: Please share.
Sergeant Jeffords: Because when I was a kid, I always wanted to be a superhero.
[flashback to young Terry trying to stop a bully:]
Sergeant Jeffords: Stop it! Stop bothering little Terry!
Bully: Or what?
Sergeant Jeffords: Or I will defeat you!
[as the bullies back off, Terry looks behind him and sees a black male police officer] Whoa.
[present:]
Sergeant Jeffords: I wanted to help people like that cop helped me. But right now, I don't feel like a superhero. I feel the opposite. When I got stopped the other day, I wasn't a cop. I wasn't a guy who lived in a neighborhood looking for his daughter's toy. I was a black man, a dangerous black man. That's all he could see: a threat. And I couldn't stop thinking about my daughters. And their future. And how years from now, they could be walking down the street, looking for their kids' Moo Moo, and get stopped by a bad cop. And they probably won't get to play the police card to get out of trouble. I don't like that thought, and I'm gonna do something about it. So I don't care if it might hurt my career. I'm filing that report. Even if I have to go over your head to do it.

Sergeant Jeffords: Okay, calm down, I have an idea. When my parents would fight and my dad got scary, I would take my little brother upstairs and to distract him, I'd teach him dance moves.
Captain Holt: What kind of dance moves?
Sergeant Jeffords: Mostly '80s hip-hop. He loved Salt-N-Pepa.
Captain Holt: No, I won't be doing that. [elevator rumbles] Salt and pepper, you say?

Charles: I cleaned up as much as I could, but I think that couch is gonna smell like bone broth for a while. So did you talk to your friend? Any chance he'll reconsider investing?
Sergeant Jeffords: Yeah, that's not happening. He said that was the most scared he's ever been, and he was on that plane that landed on the Hudson.

Sergeant Jeffords: Not only is it delicious, it's high in amino acids, and low in sodium.
Charles: Well, not exactly low in sodium. It definitely has salt in it.
Sergeant Jeffords: Not in the batch I made. I left it out. Terry doesn't like to get all bloaty.
Charles: You left out the salt? That stops the fermentation. The salt keeps it stable.
[glass explodes]
Charles: Oh, ah!
Kenneth: God, what is happening?
Charles: They're all gonna blow!
Sergeant Jeffords: Take cover! [glass explodes] So, uh, do we have a deal? [glass explodes, all scream]

Sergeant Jeffords: Come on, Terry. You can pick up that paper. [strained groan] No, forget it. It's only a first offence.
Charles: Is everything okay, Lieutenant? You've been groaning all morning.
Sergeant Jeffords: I'm sore from my workout. My muscles hurt so bad. Look. [flexes his pecs] Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow.

Amy: Maybe it was Terry who sent the flowers!
Sergeant Jeffords: Yeah, I really wanted to spend $2,000 on Valentine's Day not for my wife.
Charles: Ah, he admitted it!

Sergeant Jeffords: Mmm, got a pedicure, made a smoothie 'cause Terry loves smoothies. Retiring early was the best decision I have ever made.
Jake: Well, you're missing out. People are saying this is the most fun heist we've ever done.
Sergeant Jeffords: Looks like Holt keeps trying to put his whole hand in Cheddar's mouth while Rosa Googles, "how to make a dog vomit."
Jake: Yeah. Like I said, we're having a blast.
Sergeant Jeffords: [giggles]

Jake: Terry?
Sergeant Jeffords: I'm out. Terry is retiring from heisting. I don't have anything left to prove after my win last year.
Jake: But we need you. What if one of us has a plan that involves a big, strong brute?
Sergeant Jeffords: Not a great sales pitch, Jake. Terry is going out on top.

Captain Holt: Hello. [laughs] You caught me stretching. I've been doing this and nothing else for the last half hour continuously.
Charles: I saw you watching Terry. You were finger conducting.
Captain Holt: Fine. Yes. I may have overstated my contempt for the music they play so that I wouldn't have to help Jeffords.
Sergeant Jeffords: Oh, no, am I so bad, I can't be helped? Aw, man, I wanted to play in the Thanksgiving Day Parade. Terry loves being in and among floats.

Captain Holt: You're not bad. You're maybe even... Good. But to make you great, I'd have to break you down to nothing. It would ruin our friendship.
Sergeant Jeffords: I can handle criticism. My daughters criticize me all the time. They're so mean now. Please help me, sir, please!

Amy: Sorry you missed your daughter's concert.
Sergeant Jeffords: No, no, it's okay. Sharon totally understood. After I lied to her and said we had to stay late because Rosa got shot. Next time you see her, walk with a limp.
Rosa: Copy that.

Captain Holt: The DA's office called. Greene is furious. He thinks he may have to drop all charges in the Dekalb case. Whoever did this is facing a massive suspension, and there's no use hiding because Dillman will smoke you out.
Sergeant Jeffords: Right, but is there any way he could hurry it up? So far it's just been a lot of silent pacing.
Captain Holt: Would you ask a heart surgeon to hurry it up?
Sergeant Jeffords: I mean, I would if he was just walking around a room.

Captain Holt: But, uh... no matter. Just glad to be here. [chuckles] I am a captain again. Back where I belong. Everything is perfect. Wow. There's absolutely nothing that could puncture my... Where's the business card?
Sergeant Jeffords: What?
Captain Holt: The business card that was right here. It had a piece of gum on it. It's very important to me. You didn't throw it away, did you?
Sergeant Jeffords: [scoffs] No, Terry would never throw away something that looked exactly like trash.
Captain Holt: Good. I'll be back in half an hour. Make sure it's on my desk by then.
Sergeant Jeffords: Will do, sir. I got it. I'm on it. [to Rosa] I definitely threw it away.

Rosa: Welcome back, Captain Holt. I'm really glad we could help you with this.
Sergeant Jeffords: Oh, no, you're not gonna just jump back in here now that it all worked out!
Captain Holt: Thank you, Diaz.
Sergeant Jeffords: No! No, thank Terry. I did this! Oh, I'm done. You know what, I did all of this. This was all me! This is ridiculous!