Rosa Quotes Page 1 of 29

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Quote from the episode 9 Days

Rosa: I want to say a few words. When Jason died seven days ago, I didn't give a rat's ass.
Charles: This is your speech?
Rosa: 'Cause I didn't understand why people care so much about their dumb dogs till I got a dumb dog myself. I've only had Arlo for a day and a half, but if anything happened to him, I would kill everyone in this room and then myself.
Gina: Very violent eulogy, I like it.

Quote from the episode Greg and Larry

Rosa: We can go to my apartment. No one knows where I live.
Sergeant Jeffords: I thought you had Amy over there once.
Rosa: Yeah, it was fun. I moved the next day.

Quote from the episode Jake and Sophia

Rosa: Hey, you should run. Going to meetings, writing stuff down. You love that nerd stuff.
Amy: Writing stuff down is nerdy? What do you do?
Rosa: I just forget stuff like a cool person.

Quote from the episode 99

Charles: Okay, we can't get out until Monday afternoon, at the earliest.
Jake: I tried everything. I begged. I pleaded. I even told them that Scully was a Make-a-Wish kid with a rare disease that makes him look like a giant old baby.
Rosa: Did you call it Scullyosis?
Jake: Damn it, Rosa, that's really good and completely useless to me now.

Quote from the episode The Road Trip

Sergeant Jeffords: Wait, is that a smile I see?
Rosa: Possibly. My immune system is too weak to fight off my smile muscles.

Quote from the episode Old School

Rosa: And when this is over, I'm going to find you, and I'm going to break those little fingers.
Judge: Ms. Diaz, please stop threatening the stenographer!

Quote from the episode Tactical Village

Sergeant Jeffords: Talk to him, that's what friends do.
Rosa: Nope. I'm gonna wait 'til I'm on my deathbed, get in the last word and then die immediately.
Sergeant Jeffords: That's your plan for dealing with this?
Rosa: That's my plan for dealing with everything. I have seventy-seven arguments I'm going to win that way.

Quote from the episode Return of the King

Amy: Rosa? Are you stuck in there?
Rosa: No, I'm in here by choice.
Amy: Oh, 'cause I hear some banging noises as if someone was struggling to open the door.
Rosa: No. That was the pipes.
Amy: Or, is it the sound of you learning how to ask for help? You know, you can't spell "independent" without "dependent."
Rosa: And you can't spell "Go [bleep] yourself" without "[bleep] you."

Quote from the episode The Wednesday Incident

Sergeant Jeffords: The Captain's at a new level of anger, constant smiling.
Amy: It's horrible.
Rosa: All smiling is horrible. This is worse.

Quote from the episode Greg and Larry

Bob Annderson: I know Figgis, and you're in far more danger than I. He's coming for you. And I guarantee his soldiers find this place.
Rosa: Not gonna happen. I rent it out under a shell corporation.
Jake: Yeah.
Rosa: My mail goes to a P.O. box in Queens.
Jake: Yeah.
Rosa: My neighbors think my name is Emily Goldfinch.
Jake: Oh, yeah.
Rosa: People I work with all think my name is Rosa Diaz.
Jake: Yeah -wait, what?
Rosa: Don't worry about it.
Jake: Okay.

Quote from the episode Boyle-Linetti Wedding

Rosa: I've only said I love you to three people. My mom, my dad and my dying grandpa. And one of those I regret.
Charles: Which one?
Rosa: Grandpa. He beat cancer so now I look like an idiot.

Quote from the episode Yippie Kayak

Captain Holt: Diaz, are we still on for the polar bear swim tonight?
Rosa: It's either that or go carolling with my family, so yeah. I'd rather walk into the freezing ocean.

Quote from the episode Dillman

Jake: Fair point, but we do shatter a lot of glass around here. Either it's Rosa who's disappointed in her Buzzfeed results...
[flashback to Rosa on a computer:]
Rosa: I am not a Blanche! [throws the mouse through a window]

Quote from the episode The Honeypot

Amy: Now, in true Munkensmat, you pile all of your belongings on a raft, push it out to the icy sea, and set fire to it with a flaming arrow. But since we obviously don't have an archer-
Rosa: I'm an archer. I have like six bows in my car.

Quote from the episode The Tagger

Rosa: Thank you, Carlene. Your entire life is garbage.

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