Quotes from ‘The Ebony Falcon’

The Ebony Falcon

'The Ebony Falcon' - Season 1, Episode 14

When Sergeant Jeffords returns to fieldwork in an undercover operation, Jake tries to keep his emotions in check. Meanwhile, Amy and Rosa come to Gina's aid after she's robbed.

Air Date: January 21, 2014.

Quote from Charles

Charles: He is so strong but so gentle. He's like an enormous, muscular Ellen DeGeneres.

Quote from Charles

Charles: The boss at the academy, he invented a new weight class for me. You're looking at the undisputed bubble-weight champion.

Quote from Charles

Jake: Yes! The Ebony Falcon soars again.
Charles: The Ebony Falcon. His feathers are muscles.

Quote from Jake

Sergeant Jeffords: What are you doing, Peralta?! You just blew my cover!
Jake: Or did I save your life?
Sergeant Jeffords: Or did you compromise an investigation and piss off a superior officer?!
Jake: I'm sensing from your tone it's that one.

Quote from Charles

Charles: We spent two weeks undercover infiltrating the gym. Gymfiltrating it. I coined that. I think it'll really catch on if more people infiltrated gyms.

Quote from Jake

Jake: Hey, your kids like the same cereal as me.

Quote from Charles

Boyle: Yeah, that's why I never tried to develop an edge. You can't lose what you don't have. No surprise.

Quote from Jake

Jake: Hey. Have you seen Terry? I lost him. His children could be orphans already. Father-less mother-having orphans.

Quote from Sergeant Jeffords

Sergeant Jeffords: What's my name?
Jake: Terry Jeffords.
Sergeant Jeffords: What is my name?
Jake: The Ebony Falcon.
Sergeant Jeffords: And what does The Ebony Falcon do?
Jake: Takes every precaution to ensure his own safety.
*Terry breathes heavily*
Takes bad guys to jail and bad girls to bed.
Sergeant Jeffords: Hell yeah he does. Except now the Ebony Falcon is monogamous and too tired for sex so his only indulgence is fresh-fruit yogurt parfaits.

Quote from Amy

Rosa: What's the matter with you?
Amy: Gina came by my house last night to go over the case. Between us doing that and her using my bread maker all night, I didn't get much sleep. I will say she makes a wonderful rye. So dense yet so moist.

Quote from Jake

Jake: Hey, Sarge, just for the record, I hope you're on every case with me for the rest of my career. I'm not scared for you at all ... of you, a lot!

Quote from Jake

Jake: All right, we're doing this. Let's play wife or dog. Hey, so, Scully, what do you do at the park with Kelly?
Scully: Oh, we just walk around. She gets antsy if she doesn't get outside enough. Then it's just yap, yap, yap, yap, all day long.
Boyle: Hey, what's Kelly's favorite food?
Scully: Peanut butter. She'll eat it right out of the jar.
Sergeant Jeffords: How old is Kelly again?
Scully: Well, she's getting up there, but she's pretty sprightly for her age. Especially considering she got hit by that car a year ago.
Jake: Ah, that's so awful. Was she chasing something into the street or..?
Scully: No. She was getting my the newspaper.
Jake: All right, this is useless. Scully, is Kelly your wife of your dog?
Scully: How can you ask me that?
Jake: I still don't know which it is.
Boyle: Could be either.
Jake: I could not tell you.

Quote from Jake

Jake: Oh, sir, are you looking for your glasses? I borrowed them to do an impression of you. It killed.

Quote from Charles

Jake: If you want to worry about anyone panicking in the field, it'd be Boyle.
Boyle: Damn straight.
Wait, why did I high five that?
Jake: Because you're a sucker for a high five.
Boyle: Damn straight I am.

Quote from Gina

Gina: Do you have any connections in the FBI or CIA? There's no one else I can turn to to solve this crime.
Captain Holt: Gina, you work in a police precinct. You can turn to anyone here.
Gina: You think these buffoons can help? They're buffoons.

Quote from Sergeant Jeffords

Jake: Are you ready sarge?
Terry: I was born ready. And then I was not ready for a while. Now I'm back to being born ready.

Quote from Sergeant Jeffords

Sergeant Jeffords: I just need to put my precious babies to bed with a story. The Ebony Falcon needs to read Go, Dog, Go.

Quote from Jake

Jake: Terry Jeffords is back. Chest bump me.
Sergeant Jeffords: You don't want to do this, man.
Jake: No, I really do.
Sergeant Jeffords: It hurts you every time.
Jake: No, I know, but I'm fired up and the adrenaline is going to carry me through.

Quote from Gina

Rosa: You don't have locks on your windows?
Gina: Way to blame the victim. Sorry I'm not rich like you, Ms. 1%.
Rosa: They cost $8. You have a fur bed spread.

Quote from Gina

Amy: Why do you have so many lycra body suits? And why do you need eight full drawers of underwear?
Gina: Because I'm civilized. Less talky-talk, more solvey-solve.

Quote from Gina

Captain Holt: $160 in cash. One TV. One large painting of a naked woman on a lion. One set of Joseph Gordon Levitt nesting dolls.
Amy: Wow.
Gina: Homemade and irreplaceable.
Captain Holt: One music box that plays "She Works Hard For The Money" when opened. One knock-off designer clutch.
Rosa: Can't you just buy another knock-off?
Gina: No, I Can't, silly Sue. 'cause the label no longer makes the original, so the sweatshop no longer makes the knock-off.

Quote from Gina

Rosa: Can you estimate the value of everything that was taken?
Gina: Emotionally? Seven hundred million dollars.

Quote from Charles

Jake: We have to get Terry off this case.
Boyle: What? Why?
Jake: Look, I thought he was a weirdo for his year-long freakout. But I get it now. He has children. What happens to them if he gets hurt? I'll have to take care of them.
Boyle: Or his wife, or other family, or his more mature friends. But interesting point.

Quote from Charles

Sergeant Jeffords: What are you guys talking about?
Jake: Work.
Boyle: International taxes and tariffs.
Work.

Quote from Jake

Jake: Well, frankly,I'm not sure everyone at the gym is going to buy you as a trainer. You've been sitting behind that desk for so long, you've gotten a little tubby. Right, it's like love handle alert!
Do you have a bone there somehow?

Quote from Gina

Rosa: Crime tech report from your apartment came back. Apparently they found a strand of hair belonging to Mario Lopez.
Gina: I bought a lock of his hair at an auction. That's cool it's real.

Quote from Captain Holt

Rosa: We swept the scene, ran the prints, canvassed the building. We followed procedure.
Gina: Procedure is just a fancy word for proper order to do things.
Captain Holt: Yes, that is its definition.

Quote from Jake

Sergeant Jeffords: You sure you can lift this much weight?
Jake: You kidding me? I was the strongest kid in my camp seven summers in a row. Would have been eight if that freak Rebecca Lobelman hadn't showed up.

Quote from Charles

Boyle: I spent forty-minutes making that water bottle display. This guy's a psycho.

Quote from Jake

Jake: What do you need leg muscles for anyway? You must be a hundred years old. It's socially acceptable for you to roll around on a scooter.

Quote from Jake

Jake: I wasn't thinking straight. It was all the exercise. The blood from my head rushed into my delts.

Quote from Jake

Boyle: Are you sure I shouldn't go get him? I feel a little uncomfortable leaving him out of this.
Jake: Don't think of this as leaving him out, so much as including his babies in having a father.

Quote from Amy

Captain Holt: She's scared.
Amy: She's not scared. With all due respect, sir, Gina has no feelings.

Quote from Jake

Boyle: The Ebony Falcon.
Jake: No, the Ebony Falcon had no fear. He's the Ebony Antelope now. Brave enough to drink at the lake, but wise enough to run from the lions.

Quote from Captain Holt

Jake: And you'll be happy to know that he punched me in the face several times.
Raymond: That does make me happy.
Jake: Guess we're being candid today.

Quote from Gina

Gina: So, what do we do next? Do I just look for another apartment? Should I buy a handgun? Should I buy a shotgun? Should I buy an uzi?

Quote from Charles

Boyle: Come with me. Experience the future of cloud-based scheduling.

Quote from Jake

Jake: Oww! My lucky face!

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