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Quotes from ‘Halloween II’

Halloween II

'Halloween II' - Season 2, Episode 4

For the second Halloween running, Jake and Captain Holt wage a bet with Jake aiming to steal the Captain's watch before midnight. Meanwhile, after Gina bails on work, she's upset to find herself kicked out of her dance troupe.

Air Date: October 19, 2014.

Quote from Captain Holt

Jake: You were behind all this? You played me!
Captain Holt: Like Franz Bluheim plays the flute.

4.4

Quote from Captain Holt

Captain Holt: Just to clarify. If you steal my watch by midnight, I will do your paperwork for a week, but if you fail, you will give me five weeks of overtime for free.
Jake: Correct.
Captain Holt: I'm doing a cost/benefit analysis in my head. The benefits outweigh the costs. We have reached an accord.

4.3

Quote from Charles

Boyle: If you'll excuse me, sir, I have to make urines in the toilets.
Jake: Yep, that's how people say words.

4

Quote from Sergeant Jeffords

Sergeant Jeffords: Gina! What the hell? I defended you, and your urgent matter was just practising for some stupid dance show?
Gina: Look, I can't help it if my life is literally a Step Up movie.
Sergeant Jeffords: Oh, is it? Well then I suggest you think of this moment as the montage where you buckle down and take your job seriously so your boss doesn't kill you.

3.7

Quote from Sergeant Jeffords

Sergeant Jeffords: I never thought I'd say this, but Floorgasm has a point. You're being super irresponsible. You have a batitude. That's a bad attitude.

3.7

Quote from Captain Holt

Jake: But be warned, I started planning next year's heist just this minute.
Captain Holt: Good. Then you're only three months behind.

3.7

Quote from Jake

Jake: Fingers has grabbed the package. I didn't mean for that to sound so dirty.

3.5

Quote from Jake

Jake: I can't see the tow-truck any more. Charles, how come you're so much slower than a car?

3.5

Quote from Jake

Jake: Those guys at the impound. Did they really smash my car?
Captain Holt: No. In fact, I had them wash it.
Jake: Ha. Good one, Captain. You can't "wash" a car.

3.5

Quote from Captain Holt

Jake: Hey there, Captain. Just curious, do you happen to know what today is?
Captain Holt: Well, based on the fact that yesterday was the birthday of legendary Dutch floutist Franz Bluheim and a week ago was October 24th, I'd say today was-
Jake: It's Halloween. Just say it's Halloween.
Captain Holt: It's Halloween.

3.3

Quote from Hitchcock

Jake: Scully and Hitchcock, I'm just gonna call you your real names so you don't get confused.
Scully: Smart.
Hitchcock: (Confused) What?

3

Quote from Charles

Jake: And Boyle, as requested, you will be the deuce. Although, I still think you should reconsider that codename.
Boyle: No. Deuce. It's like ace but twice as cool.
Jake: It is not. It's a turd.

3

Quote from Charles

Boyle: He could be in Canada by now. There's so many forests up there. That country is one giant hiding place.

3

Quote from Sergeant Jeffords

Sergeant Jeffords: School is cool. That's why it rhymes.

3

Quote from Gina

Gina: Can we not do this right now, Terry? I'm in the midst of a personal tragedy.
Terry: Oh, my God. Is everything okay with your family?
Gina: Family, what? No, this is serious. Floorgasm just came by and danced me out of the group.

3

Quote from Gina

Gina: And while I generally nail everything, I'm just having trouble balancing my studies and my passion for dance.
Terry: Plus, you're working full-time.
Gina: Yeah, that actually doesn't factor into it whatsoever.

3

Quote from Captain Holt

Jake: I've been planning this this theft for three months.
Captain Holt: I know, but I've been planning it for a year.
Last Halloween, after you won the bet, I went back to my office to do everyone's paperwork, but I did no paperwork. I started to plot my revenge. I began by creating a word cloud.

3

Quote from Jake

Jake: So how'd you convince the whole squad to betray me? What'd you offer them?
Captain Holt: I asked them if they wanted to embarrass you, and they instantly said yes.
Jake: I'm not gonna lie, that turns me on a little bit.

3

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