Sergeant Jeffords: Baby, I've got some bad news. Someone painted a giant penis on our minivan. No, you can not have an SUV now. Those things roll, baby, they roll!

Sergeant Jeffords: Well, Scully, Hitchcock and Daniels, they're pretty much worthless. But they make good coffee.

Sergeant Jeffords: Now the good ones. Rosa Diaz. Tough, smart, hard to read, and really scary.

Sergeant Jeffords: Charles Boyle. He's a grinder. Not the most brilliant detective, but he works harder than anyone else. He's not physically gifted.

Sergeant Jeffords: Amy Santiago. She's got seven brothers, so she's always trying to prove she's tough. She and Peralta have some big bet over who gets more arrests this year. Ever since the bet, their numbers have gone way up.

Captain Holt: Tell me about Peralta.
Sergeant Jeffords: Jacob Peralta is my best detective. He likes putting away bad guys and he loves solving puzzles. The only puzzle he hasn't solved is how to grow up.
Captain Holt: That was very well put.
Sergeant Jeffords: I've talked a lot about Jake in my departmentally-mandated therapy sessions.