Quotes from ‘Full Boyle’

Full Boyle

'Full Boyle' - Season 1, Episode 17

Jake tries to stop Charles going "full Boyle" in his new relationship with Vivian. Meanwhile, Rosa and Amy deal with a caped vigilante, and Holt faces competition at the police organization he founded.

Air Date: February 11, 2014.

Quote from Jake

Boyle: And then, a skywriter's gonnna write Charles loves V. I couldn't afford her full name.
Jake: First of all, Charles loves V means something very specific, and I'm gonna guess not what you're intending. More importantly, you're going Full Boyle.

Quote from Captain Holt

Captain Holt: I'll work on my speech. How's this for an opening joke?
"You know what the toughest part of being a gay black police officer is?
The discrimination."
I believe that's what you call observational humor.

Quote from Jake

Jake: And this beautiful basketball-loving Die Hard fan is tearing down my walls of defenses. If we find out that she is half-Jewish, we are all doomed!

Quote from Charles

Charles: The guy was from Canada, said it was probably his fault for getting robbed, and apologized for wasting my time.

Quote from Charles

Charles: I love it when you talk broth.

Quote from Jake

Jake: She has tenure, and also has ten years - times two - older than him.
Rosa: That sucked.
Jake: Yeah.

Quote from Charles

Charles: Sexy train is leaving the station. Check out this caboose. Later, sluts.

Quote from Charles

Gina: Nice jeans, Charles. Those are surprisingly low-waisted.
Charles: Eyes up here, Gina. I'm more than just a piece of ass.
Gina: Not bad. Not bad.

Quote from Gina

Gina: I can't believe I was just briefly attracted to Boyle. Ugh ugh.

Quote from Charles

Boyle: I can't wait to see you, my luscious little breakfast quiche. I just want to draw you a bubble bath and spoon-feed you caviar. I think we should open up a joint checking account. I love you.
What am I doing?
Jake: It's okay. I hung up right after "Chucklebunny".
Boyle: Help me. I've gone Full Boyle.

Quote from Gina

Gina: You should make me your campaign manager. I was born for politics. I have great hair and I love lying.

Quote from Jake

Jake: All right, let's go over our disguises. I am Herbet Goffleman from San Diego. I came here to stand in the cold outside The Today Show holding a sign with a misspelled word on it.

Quote from Charles

Jake: Okay, you win. That neon green fanny pack screams gullible tourist.
Boyle: It's mine. I brought it from home.

Quote from Jake

Jake: I found this, by the way. You wrote Mr. Charles Ludley over a thousand times. Why would you take her last name, Boyle?

Quote from Gina

Gina: Okay, here's what I found out about our competition. Brian Jensen, born 1899, served in the Navy during World War One. A hero at the battle of Scimitar Hill, Jensen perished in a factory fire in the Netherlands. This may be a different Brian Jensen.

Quote from Captain Holt

Captain Holt: The meeting is beginning. The stakes are very high for me. I'm getting nervous. My stomach is in flux.

Quote from Charles

Boyle: I borrowed the waiter's phone when you weren't looking and bought me and Vivian plane tickets to Rome.
Jake: What?
Boyle: We leave in two hours. Terrible itinerary. We connect through Vietnam.

Quote from Captain Holt

Captain Holt: If you screw this up, I will impeach you. I wrote the bylaws, so I know how to do it. But I'm very happy for you. But I will impeach you if necessary.

Quote from Jake

Jake: Oh, Canada. Truly the Odie to America's Garfield.

Quote from Sergeant Jeffords

Sergeant Jeffords: This morning he finally corrected the barista when she called him "Charl-eaze". He's been living as "Charleaze Broil" for five years!

Quote from Amy

Super Dan: Why aren't you guys taking me seriously?
Amy: Your cape. And your tights. And your name's Super Dan. And I can sort of see your penis. And it's all just a rich tapestry.

Quote from Jake

Jake: But I would argue I am like a beautiful angel of love, who has trouble finding love for himself. Admit that you would see that movie.
Amy: I would.
Jake: Thank you for your honesty.

Quote from Amy

Scully: I didn't even notice he was wearing a cape.
Amy: You're a cop. You should have realized that.

Quote from Jake

Jake: Look, I'm sorry I threw your ring in that boiling pork water.
Boyle: Yeah. Sorry I pepper sprayed you.
Jake: I'm sorry I pepper sprayed you. Burned like hell, right? Thank God for that soda.

Quote from Jake

Jake: Oh, this is turning into a live sex show.
Amy: Yeah, let's go.
Jake: I wasn't saying that in a bad way.
Amy: Jake.
Jake: Although they can't see us.
Amy: Jake!

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