Quote from Doug Judy in the episode Pontiac Bandit
Doug Judy: My mom's car is here. She's home. Can I take these cuffs off?
Rosa: No way.
Doug Judy: She doesn't know I'm a criminal. She thinks I own an architecture firm with all white employees.
Jake: That's racist.
Rosa: Why stop there? Why not tell her you're an astronaut?
Doug Judy: 'Cause space is scary. You saw what it did to Sandy Bullock.
Quote from the episode The Fugitive (Part 2)
Captain Holt: No, no, no. He's not a cop. He can't be wearing any of this.
Jake: It's just a windbreaker. It's not like I gave him a badge and a gun. ... Uh, he has both of those things.
Doug Judy: It's not loaded. I just want to cock it and say a cool cop catch phrase. (COCKS GUN) New York's finest just got a whole lot finer.
Quote from the episode The Fugitive (Part 2)
Doug Judy: Damn, it feels good to be on the same team for once. A cop and a criminal working together. (GASPS) We need a theme song. The Pontiac Bandit and Jake the cop-
Jake: Oh!
Doug Judy: Taking down crooks, In the streets where they live, Flirting with girls who are hot for the badge-
Jake: There's a talking police dog that helps them solve crime.
Quote from the episode The Pontiac Bandit Returns
Captain Holt: Give me some details.
Doug Judy: Ruiz and I were cellies in Attica in the '90s. He texted me last week. Needs some cars to deliver his product. I said no because drugs are stupid. Except for weed and sex pills. A man has needs. [singing] Rosa, Rosa, Rosa, Rosa. I can't think of your last name, baby.
Captain Holt: Enough crooning!
Quote from Hitchcock
Sergeant Jeffords: Hitchcock called himself Scully by accident.
Hitchcock: I did, but it brought me and Scully closer together.
Quote from Jake
Jake: I've been trying to catch the Pontiac Bandit for eight years. You know how many months that is?
Rosa: 96.
Jake: 80. 40. 6. Years. Months.
Captain Holt: Do you need a math tutor? Because the department will provide one for you.
Jake: I can't tell if you're being serious.
Quote from Captain Holt
Captain Holt: Ouch. He ran over my foot. I am in incredible pain.