Jake: Yeah, you look exactly like the guy in the Don't Talk To Strangers poster.

Rosa: Come on, Peralta! Holt said to use the whole team. We all want this solved.
Jake: I appreciate the offer, but I work best alone. Except when it comes to sex. Actually, sometimes including sex.

Jake: I wasn't hurt that badly. The doctor said all my bleeding was internal. That's where the blood's supposed to be.

Charles: Santiago, I know that you hate Halloween, but stick with me, and I promise you, you will love it.
Amy: Can you magically make everyone kind, sober, and fully dressed?
Jake: "Kind, sober and fully dressed." Good news, everyone. We found the name of Santiago's sex tape!

Sergeant Jeffords: Joining us for lunch, Sir?
Captain Holt: Oh, no, I've already consumed the required calories for this day period.
Rosa: Yummy.

Charles: He should already think you're great. Like with my dad. He doesn't need me to prove to him that Jake Peralta's the best cop in the precinct, he knows it.

Sergeant Jeffords: I warned you against using donuts. They're my trigger food.
Amy: Terry.
Sergeant Jeffords: These islanders are delicious.