Quotes from ‘Captain Peralta’

Captain Peralta

'Captain Peralta' - Season 2, Episode 18

When Jake's absentee father, Captain Roger Peralta, comes to town, Jake is excited to spend time with his dad. Charles is sceptical of Roger's intentions, and Jake eventually sees his father's character. Meanwhile, Holt gives Amy, Terry, Gina and Rosa an impossible brain teaser to solve in exchange for Beyonce tickets.

Air Date: March 8, 2015.

Quote from Sergeant Jeffords

Sergeant Jeffords: I warned you against using donuts. They're my trigger food.
Amy: Terry.
Sergeant Jeffords: These islanders are delicious.

Quote from Gina

Captain Holt: I'm going with Gina's suck an egg idea. You get the Beyonce tickets.
Gina: Of course I do. I told you, it was my birth right, you bitches.

Quote from Captain Holt

Sergeant Jeffords: Joining us for lunch, Sir?
Captain Holt: Oh, no, I've already consumed the required calories for this day period.
Rosa: Yummy.

Quote from Charles

Charles: He should already think you're great. Like with my dad. He doesn't need me to prove to him that Jake Peralta's the best cop in the precinct, he knows it.

Quote from Gina

Gina: Click. I just captured the exact moment you realized you had failed. I guess we all got something out of this.

Quote from Rosa

Boyle: I grew a goatee and it looks amazing, and I know you can see it.
Rosa: Of course we can see it, Charles. It's horrible.

Quote from Rosa

Rosa: You use the seesaw to press down on their necks until fatty confesses.
Captain Holt: Incorrect. And disturbing.

Quote from Jake

Jake: That's my dad. The captain talking right now. I came out of his body. No big deal.

Quote from Scully

Scully: Oh my God, Jake, who's flying the plane?
Jake: Co-pilot, Scully, co-pilot.

Quote from Scully

Jake: Sorry, Scully, we only had two uniforms.
Scully: It's okay. For some reason, all the fries and grave, and cheese upset my tummy.

Quote from Captain Holt

Captain Holt: Those islanders and their pathetic seesaw haunt my dreams. They mock me in my sleep. Riding up and down in a teeter-totter of taunts.

Quote from Gina

Gina: It looks like you unclogged a shower drain with your mouth.

Quote from Jake

Jake: Yeah, you look exactly like the guy in the Don't Talk To Strangers poster.

Quote from Charles

Jake: Hey, Charles, I want to ask you something but you have to promise to not get excited and weird.
Charles: I can't promise anything of the sort.
Jake: It's about restaurants.
Charles: I'm so glad I didn't make that promise.

Quote from Jake

Jake: Where do you take your dad when you want to go some place special?
Charles: We got to Csaba. It's a Hungarian restaurant that serves tal ezer Kolbsz. It's a platter of a thousand sausages.
Jake: Euch.
Charles: It's symbolic of our manhood.
Jake: Okay, should have saved the euch till then.

Quote from Amy

Amy: Don't just tease my brain, captain. Really go to town on it.

Quote from Captain Holt

Rosa: That sounds super exciting. Is this thing mandatory?
Amy: Oh, I hope so. Please say yes.
Captain Holt: No, but there is a prize for whoever solves it first. Two tickets to this Sunday's Beyonce Knowles rock music concert.

Quote from Sergeant Jeffords

Sergeant Jeffords: My girls were conceived to Bootylicious. Don't tell my wife I told you that.

Quote from Jake

Jake: Captain Holt, come meet my dad, Captain Peralta.
Captain Peralta: Hello, captain.
Captain Holt: Captain.
Jake: This is super weird for me.

Jake: Hey, introduce yourself in your captain's voice.
Captain Peralta: Folks, this is your pilot speaking, Captain Roger Peralta. If you look to your left, you'll see me, making your acquaintance.

Quote from Sergeant Jeffords

Sergeant Jeffords: You probably can't tell, but I'm flexing my brain like crazy right now.

Quote from Amy

Amy: Look, it's just that the Sarge and I are really into puzzles. Remember when I took that sudoku cruise? I never even went on deck.

Quote from Gina

Captain Holt: So, that's it? This problem is beyond all of you? No one solved it?
Amy: Believe me. No one is disappointed in me than me.
Captain Holt: Than I, Santiago.
Gina: Click.

Quote from Captain Holt

Captain Holt: Next round's on me. It's the least I can do after teasing your brains so mercilessly.

Quote from Captain Holt

Amy: So, what are you going to say to your old C/O tomorrow when he asks if you've solved the puzzle?
Captain Holt: I don't know. Thanks for bringing it up. Fun chat.

Quote from Captain Holt

Captain Holt: Nice job on Quebec. I bet the cops weren't happy you showed them up.
Jake: Yeah, well, maybe not at first. But by the end, they kept calling me a real batard, which I can only assume means hero.
Captain Holt: It means bastard, but that's only because they were jealous.

Quote from Sergeant Jeffords

Jake: Ooh, you can interrogate one of my perps.
Sergeant Jeffords: No, he can't. Don't do that, Jake.

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