Charles: Are you sure you know what you're doing? Abigail was our only bargaining chip.
Jake: Don't worry. I have a plan. As soon as she comes back in here, I'm gonna grab that cup right out of her hands and run like hell.
Charles: You think that'll work?
Jake: I don't just think it will.
I know it might.

Rosa: Come on, Peralta! Holt said to use the whole team. We all want this solved.
Jake: I appreciate the offer, but I work best alone. Except when it comes to sex. Actually, sometimes including sex.

Jake: I wasn't hurt that badly. The doctor said all my bleeding was internal. That's where the blood's supposed to be.

Jake: I guess that's your new best friend now, Santiago. Emphasis on "Iago," backstabber.
Amy: I'm surprised you've read Othello.
Jake: What the hell's Othello? I'm calling you the parrot from Aladdin.

Captain Holt: Dancing over. Situation defused.
Jake: No!

Jake: Are you guys wearing one scarf?
Genevieve: Yep, Charles forgot his this morning. It's actually quite romantic. I think he did it on purpose.
Charles: Uh, let's just say, I definitely did it on purpose. Now, twirl me, darling!

Jake: Oh, I should've known.
You're a hugger, not a shaker.
Charles: It was the most painful thing I've ever done, and I've taken three of my grandparents off life support.
Jake: How are you always in charge of that?