Captain Holt: Now let's pick teams.
Sergeant Jeffords: I've got a ton of work. You can just leave me out this year.
Jake: Interesting. Interesting.
Amy: Oh, Terry, Terry, Terry.
Sergeant Jeffords: What?
Captain Holt: How naive do you think we are? You're "not participating" so you can sneak under our noses and steal a victory, like Santiago did last year.
Sergeant Jeffords: I'm going to my desk. Heists are dumb.

Sergeant Jeffords: You should take my minivan.
Rosa: A minivan? Ha ha.
Sergeant Jeffords: You all got a problem with my minivan? Because my wife doesn't like it either. She wanted an SUV, but those things roll, man. They roll!

Sergeant Jeffords: I'm playing Kwazy Cupcakes, I'm hydrated as hell, and I'm listening to Sheryl Crow. I've got my own party going on.

Charles: Hey, Sarge. I need someone to fill out a line up. Will you be scary Terry?
Sergeant Jeffords: Oh, I love being Scary Terry. He says what regular Terry's thinking.
[cut to:
Sergeant Jeffords: This is taking too long! I'm gonna miss the farmer's market!

Charles: This is so frustrating. There's no way of knowing who has the plaque.
Captain Holt: Amy and Rosa have it.
Charles: What? How do you know?
Captain Holt: Diaz usually favors her left leg, but after "zero dark pizza," she was suddenly favoring her right.
Charles: Yes, yes, which means that she was...
Captain Holt: You trailed off and didn't finish speaking. Continue.
Charles: I don't want to.

Amy: Attention, squad.
Gina: Mm, pretty dainty way to make an announcement.
Amy: It's a workplace. I wanted to be respectful.
Scully: Well, as someone at a high risk for a spook-related death, thank you.

Hitchcock: Attention, everyone.
Rosa: Enough. We know. The heist is happening.
Hitchcock: No, my ex-wife just died. No more alimony, baby!