Captain Holt: Thank you for giving Peralta the doctored photo.
Rosa: My allegiances are to the highest bidder.
Captain Holt: And you'll never tell anyone what you saw?
Rosa: They wouldn't believe me if I did. I mean, come on, sir. It's a picture of...

Captain Holt: So, uh, what did you find?
Rosa: Nothing yet, and if you want me to keep digging, we need to talk about my fee. I need cash. Most of my other work is pro bono.
Captain Holt: This is unofficial. I can't pay.
Rosa: Right, but there is something you can give me, something just as valuable as money. I want to see your tattoo.
Captain Holt: That's just as valuable?
Rosa: It is to Jake. He's offered a significant reward.
Captain Holt: Wow. It is so ridiculous how much weight you've all given to my silly tattoo, like it's some huge secret that I'll take to my grave.
Rosa: I notice you haven't said yes yet.
Captain Holt: 'Cause no one can ever know. Okay, fine. If you can prove how that mouse got into that burrito, I'll tell you what my tattoo is.
Rosa: I need a photo of it.
Captain Holt: You're a monster.

Rosa: Damn it, I was looking for somewhere to be alone.
Scully: Sorry, I came out here looking for a signal to call Hitchcock, but no luck. I can take my chips and go.
Rosa: Wait, you have chips? You could stay.
Scully: Oh.

Scully: Hey, Rosa, you wanna take a couple days off, drive to Buffalo, see the warehouse where Sweet Maui Onion chips are imported to? Unless you don't wanna hang out 'cause you're not stoned anymore.
Rosa: Actually, Buffalo sounds kind of cool.
Scully: Seriously? That's just not the weed talking?
Rosa: Oh, no, I'm not high at all anymore.
[later:]
Rosa: Oh, no, I was so high.
Scully: Good news. While you were asleep, we finally got cell reception.
Hitchcock: [on video call] What's up, cucks? So how did everybody lose their V-card? I'll go first.
Rosa: Amy was right. Drugs are bad.

Jake: Okay, I'm staying out of this one.
Captain Holt: Shocking... I didn't realize you were capable of staying out of anything.
Scully: We have an announcement. We're here to crown the winner of this year's Great Tournament of Chips. Rosa?
Rosa: The Chipeon is... Smoky Bacon Chicken.
Amy: She's so high.
Jake: Yeah. Sounds pretty good, though.
Rosa: Ugh, you guys are duds. Scully and I are gonna bounce.

Amy: Can I join you? Mac's never been asleep this long, and I don't know what to do with myself.
Rosa: Charles locked your kid in the room.
Amy: What?
Rosa: You made me say it. If I didn't, you would've stayed here and ruined this good thing I got going with Scully and his chips.

Charles: Are there tools in here? You see a saw anywhere?
Rosa: I told you to stay away, Charles. I'm not into your energy.

Rosa: [covers ears] Oh, God, I can't be here for this. Oh, my mouth is so dry. It's all bad.
Amy: What's all bad?
Rosa: I can't tell you, Amy.
Amy: What can't you tell me?
Rosa: It's too real. I need to leave.

Charles: Uh... oh, no, no, no, no. Oh! I think I just locked Mac in his room. What do I do?
Rosa: Oh, sorry, man. I think the second edible just kicked in. This is a little too much for me. Also, this is not the vibe I was looking for.
Charles: No, no, no, Ro-ro, Ro-ro. I need your help.
Rosa: No, no, no. Adios, amigo.

Jake: Okay, just give it a shot. They're already separated, it can't get any worse.
Rosa: It's a really good point.
Jake: Thank you, Rosa.
Amy: She's high as hell.
Rosa: That's also a really good point.
Jake: Damn it, Rosa!

Rosa: Hey, everybody. I got your text. What's the big emergency?
Jake: We need to talk about Captain Holt's love life. [Rosa groans] Come on, you've missed being dragged into your coworkers' personal lives, admit it.
Rosa: It's true, I have.

Rosa: I'm not a cop anymore, and I have a prescription for anxiety, so it's legal. It'll be good for when all the drama starts.
Amy: Why do you think there's gonna be drama?
Rosa: Oh, no, you're right. Whenever we go on one of these group trips everything's totally normal and there's never any big conflict. Anyway, I'm just gonna pop one of these right now for no reason.
Amy: I'm not looking.

Aisha: So those cops are just gonna keep walking the streets doing this crap with no consequences?
Jake: I'm sorry. We really tried.
Aisha: I guess getting the charges dropped was something, so thanks... to Rosa because you're not a cop. I'll hook you up with those five stars on Yelp. [exits]
Jake: [sighs] That was rough.
Rosa: Yep.

Rosa: How many more of these are we gonna do till you realize it's pointless?
Jake: Well, I don't think it's pointless. That's what I've been trying to prove to you.
Rosa: Wait, I thought you said you weren't trying to prove a point.
Jake: Well, yeah, but I mean, I kind of had to say that so you'd let me work with you and I could make my point.
Rosa: See, this is why we don't hang out anymore, because you're always so defensive.
Jake: Well, it's kind of hard not to be when you think I'm a bad person now.
Rosa: I never said that.
Jake: You didn't have to. Rosa, we came up together. We went to the academy together. We've had the exact same career. All we ever wanted was to be detectives. And yes, we've always known there were problems, but we would solve them together from the inside. So when you quit, yeah, it made me feel like you thought I was wrong for staying.
Rosa: Jake, my choice has nothing to do with you. It was the hardest thing I've ever done. I gave up my career, my friends, my whole life, but I did it because I couldn't ignore what I was a part of anymore, couldn't ignore what the police are doing in my community to people who look like me.
Jake: I know, but not all of them, not me.
Rosa: This isn't about you. And this case where a Black woman was assaulted by the police has nothing to do with you either. So if you're not here to help, if you're just here to prove a point, then, man, I don't think we should work together anymore. And I definitely don't think we're friends.

Rosa: Well, that background is on brand.
Frank O'Sullivan: [enters] [on phone] Yeah, Ma! I got the tickets! What do think? Front row, Ma, Billy Joel. You, me, and the poet of Long Island. Huh? No, I know.